One of those days

It has been one of those days. Everything has been "off". The baby has been nonstop fussy/awake/holdme...and so the house remains a mess, which is stressful in and of itself. Poor Gabe had vaccinations yesterday, and both of his little thighs are swollen and very sore. He was so sore last night that you could hardly touch his leg without him crying out. We have felt so bad for him. He got his DPT shot in that leg. So he has been stiff-legging it around the house. He got good and babied last night to help make things better - and he actually needed it. He had a low-grade fever, but none today.

I tell you what. That kid is a cutie-pie. I would have a picture of him on, too, but apparently I am holding Israel ALL OF THE TIME and therefore can't take pictures of my other beloved child. He was looking at a book of farm animals with Tim tonight and talking about everything he saw, preceding every description with a "see a ___". See a knee. See a sunshine. See a bu'fwy (butterfly). See a piggie. With that little voice and his little blue hood over his head, I just couldn't help but want to just squeeze him.

But unfortunately, there could be no squeezing, due to the Mr. Cheeks I was holding. I fed Mr. Cheeks for about 68 years this evening TRYING VAINLY to get him to go to sleep...and his eyes just popped right open when I laid him down. Ah, man. There's something about how you have everything all planned that you are going to be doing when the baby goes to sleep, and then when the baby WON'T go to sleep...somehow it makes everything doubly frustrating. And then he would fall asleep with his pacifier and it would keep falling out and waking him up... (Raise hand and smack forehead in despair.)

This morning, however, when I had Israel up to my shoulder to burp him, my heart did a big smile at the soft little snuffly bundle tucked into the crook of my neck. And when he slept from 7-9 AM, when he often is bright-eyed and flailing, it smiled some more. :) Now, wouldn't it be nice if Israel would just sleep all night. That way I could start with a smile and end with a snore. That's the way to do it.

Etc.

I love having my babies, and think they are TOTALLY worth all of the time, energy and effort, but every once in a while, I miss some freedoms. I was hurtling (safely) home from the mall the other night with a 4 week infant in the backseat screaming that "I-am-abandoned-and-despairing-of-life" cry that is designed to make you drop everything and attend to the poor child, and cast a wistful glance at the Panera bread cafe speeding past my dusty minivan window. I had a nostalgic "missing" of the days when one would have a leisurely shopping, clothes-trying-on experience with friends, and then stop to get something to eat, and linger over your food, and talk and laugh. No rush. Ain't happenin' these days with this one. Everything is more hurry-hurry-ain't-no-WAY-we're-stopping-somewhere-to-eat!!! I went to a baby shower the other night that Israel wailed his way through, and had a Mary Kay thingie 2 nights later during which he did the same thing. He does not particularly like Mommy to have a life, thanks. :) I'm going somewhere again tonight, without Tim and Gabriel...we shall see how things go...(spoken in ominous tones)

I also miss having days where I could stay in bed all day if I wanted and read. Some of these grey, cloudy days we have had recently, combined with my exhaustion and desire to simply mindlessly vegetate have brought this desire to the forefront of late. My husband informs me that this is not normal. On one of those grey days recently, I opened a Dove's candy chocolate wrapper that said "This is one of those bubble-bath days" or something like that, and everything within me yearned for such a day...in a quiet house...with a thick, absorbing book...and no duties to perform... Oh well. I'd rather have the cushiest cheeks ever to kiss (Israel), and the softest belly ever to rub (Gabe). But you hear what I'm saying.

Speaking of having a life (refer to first paragraph), my calendar is filling up quickly for these next several weeks. I'm so excited. I so do like to have a life! :) Tim complains about having lots of plans, but I just rub my hands together busily and plot away. Not working over the holidays has left lots of room open for fun things that I usually miss.

In a totally separate subject, I gotta say - I am feeling the weight of being a parent. It is a mantle of responsibility that really starts to reveal itself especially as Gabriel is getting older. How do we provide the most appropriate discipline? What is the most appropriate discipline? Who are we shaping our child to become? What is his view of God? What of God's character can he see in us? Where are we missing the mark? I SO LONG for my children to love our God with all their heart, souls, and minds...and I just want to get our parts right. And of course all parents miss the mark on all sorts of things...I just want God to give us wisdom on the things we can't afford to miss the mark on. Gabe truly is such a sponge. He talks about kites, for instance, and we have no clue how he knows about kites. The other night he asked for a "God story"...when we often tell Jesus stories, so he must understand that they are connected - and he is only two!

And finally, here's a bad mommy confession. Playing two-year-old games makes me want to flee. Tim and I were talking the other day about things that we like about taking care of Gabriel, after he left me to play a football throwing game with Gabe that he had been playing to go take a shower. I can play those games for a few minutes, and then I get so incredibly antsy and want to do all of the other things around me that need to be done. Like dust. Or clean the bathroom. :) I have to consciously stay the course on those games. Tim loves playing games with Gabriel, but not reading to him. I, on the other hand, do like to read to him, and do the "taking care of" bits, and the cuddling. (Candice, Gabriel loves that Thai Hide-and-Seek book. That is a 5 times over book. I like how the rooster says "Eeechy eeechy egg! Eeechy eechy egg!", and the dog says "Hrou! Hrou!".") Gabe asks for more cuddling now than he used to. He likes to go get his blankies and pacifier and comes pouting out with some sort of pretend injury that requires lots of cuddles. :) I guess Tim and I balance each other out.

One more thing: today we were putting Gabe down for his nap, and I see this sippy cup come flying out of his room. Tim had found a "old milk" cup and threw it out so that Gabe wouldn't try to drink it. Then I see Gabe in the doorway a little later, with his blanky, looking down the hall. He looks at me and smacks his leg with his hands and says "Daddy smack leg. Daddy smack leg" I asked Tim if Gabe had done something wrong, and he said that no, he hadn't but he must have seen Daddy do a no-no, because he remembered that Gabe had whacked his (Tim's) leg, and hadn't thought anything of it but that he was playing. Then Tim remembered that he had thrown Gabe's sippy-cup, which is a Gabriel-no-no. :) So Daddy was apparently chastised. :) Gabriel will often smack his own leg if he does something he knows is wrong, ie. hit the lampshade with his drumstick. What a kid.

Neck folds!!!

Israel is really growing these days – as you can well see. Last night at the mall (he’s been introduced to shopping! :)), someone asked me if “she” was about 3 months old. I replied that, no, “he” is 5 weeks old. He will definitely not be in his 0-3 month clothes much longer. They fit now, but will be getting tight soon. He is also starting to smile at me when I smile at him – such a rewarding experience, having your baby smile back! :) He also is holding his head up more.

Gabe continues to be fascinated with him. I have to basically peel him away. “Baby kisses? Baby hugs? Baby’s eyes! (jab) Baby’s hair! (poke) Hold baby? Gab’rl hold baby?” He is also preoccupied with the subject of how the baby is doing. When the baby is crying, he says “Baby cwyin’! Baby alwite? Baby alwite?”

“Baby is fine”, we say.

“Baby fine,” he repeats. “Baby fine.” When I went shopping with Israel the other day, he said “Mama shoppin’.” And then, with nodding certainty, “Baby fine.”

Pudge and Such

Wow. Is my kid pudgy or what? This is him from the other day, vegging out on his pillow.














Gabe has adopted my Strawberry Shortcake doll, and likes to drive his "baby" around the house.

One Month

Israel Caleb Miller is one month old today. I would post a picture, but Blogspot is being a dork. So, anyways, happy one month birthday, my dear son!!! We are so glad to have you around, and love to give you kisses!

Ahhhhhh...

Sigh of bliss. Sitting in a quiet house, with my chocolate and TIME. Both boys sleeping soundly. Ahhhh... Blessedness. :)

Here's some more nice things:
1. Israel is basically waking up only twice during the night, and the second time is when it is just starting to get light out, so it doesn't really count as night, even though it still feels that way to me. We feel MUCH more refreshed sleep-wise now.
2. Israel and Gabriel tend to (when things are going right), go down for a nap and bed at the same time. That is REALLY nice.
3. Israel is starting to be ok with being placed in various holding facilites (ie. car seat with pillow, or swing, or on the bed) for several minutes at a time without screaming bloody murder. This is very nice, and allows one to finish a cup of tea or other important things.
4. Israel is also taking a pacifier. Whooo-hooo!!! (Spoken by the Human Pacifier). My son was gaining approximately 2 chins per day from the "lets-use-mom-as-a-pacifier" theory.

*********

Having a little baby and a sugar/snack happy two year old sort of puts me on an involuntary diet, I think. I start to make myself some tea for breakfast, and the baby cries, and I get distracted, and my tea gets cold, and the baby won't let me sit him down, which nullifies the whole concept of breakfast for me (I want to sit peacefully and sip my tea and eat at leisure and read my book...this type of breakfast seems to not be in the cards these days.) and then I have to get something on for lunch. Or, I want to have a snack, and little Mite-Sized Tummy boy "wants" too - which means that he won't hardly eat the next meal. So I only have 3 cream cheese crackers (mmmm...) and several pretzels dipped in cheese instead of a lot. See. And Israel wakes up right on the dot of sitting down for every single meal - I do not understand this phenomenon. So I feed him while I'm eating, and that is just distracting, so I eat slower, and then I'm full with less food.

I have, however, managed to consume an astonishing amount of candy since Israel was born. Rationale: I can eat extra calories since I am breastfeeding!! :) Seriously. LOTS of candy. Mary Janes and Dove chocolates and Hershey's kisses and Almond Joys and etc. I think it helps that I can sneak candy past Gabe...

Apt Words and Tealessness

I found this article today on the Focus on the Family website, (during a glorious break while BOTH BOYS WERE SLEEPING AT ONCE!!! Praise the Lord hallelujah!!!) I thought somebody had just crawled inside my head. 'It seems like the crying, rocking, feeding, walking-the-floor insanity is going to last forever. “Baby Boot Camp” aptly describes life with a newborn. New moms are often flustered and bewildered during those early days with a baby. Besides having a body that’s getting back to normal, postpartum mothers must deal with fluctuating hormones, extreme fatigue and roller-coaster emotions. This wasn’t what you signed up for! When you bring your baby home from the hospital, however, the rigors of basic training begin.' Amen and amen. And amen. But the article informed me that it will not last. Once again, I say "Praise the Lord hallelujah".

On a separate, highly irritating note, I found out today that I cannot drink mint tea anymore, since it decreases milk in breastfeeding mothers. Now why is this the first I have heard of this? I have been guzzling mint tea right and left, like, 4 times a day. Especially because it seems like me drinking black tea makes Israel's stomach hurt. So now what I am I supposed to do? Drink water?! Man, life is hard. :)

The Truth of the Matter

So, how are things really? Weellllll....they're actually harder than I anticipated. :) How's that for a nice answer? In my memory, it seems like most people that I have talked to in the past have said that their second child was easier than their first. I may just not be remembering correctly, but I think that Israel is harder. He seems fussier than I remember Gabe being. Like, seriously, hours go by while I am holding him. He just simply likes to be held. If I set him down somewhere, he's ok for a few minutes, and then he starts to sputter and whimper and finally cries like his precious little heart is going to break, and I can't have that happening! :) And then it is a process getting him to sleep, and then he wakes up really easily - and we happen to have a chattering, banging two year old cohabiting the same house little Mr. Let's Wake Up is living in. Sigh. It's ok, though. But if Tim is having a busy day with school, I am about ready to have a cryfest at night - just because I am SO TIRED, and Israel seems SO NEEDY. I think a lot of my stress level really does come from sleep deprivation. Israel seems to have a hard time going back to sleep after he wakes up, and then he has an awake period around 6 AM, while I would absolutely LOVE to be dead asleep. I got 1/2 hour nap today before the phone rang and Israel woke up with a wet outfit. And I miss spending time with Gabe - here I thought I would have all this time to spend with him while I was home, but most of the time I spend trying to quiet his squalling little brother. Tonight, though, Gabe and I had some nice time on the chair in his room after he had went to bed, while I told him stories. He loves stories. They are the most boring stories ever, but they are about things he knows about. Chickens and pigs and grandparents and go-carts and airplanes. So we cuddled cheek to cheek and it was very nice.

But these are the things I like:
-Israel's velvety softest ever cheeks.
-Israel's warm little relaxed body when you are holding him and he is not currently crying. :)
-Gabriel's most precious ever little high, lisping voice. I just love his voice, although recently Tim is starting to be driven crazy from Gabe's continous conversations. :) He says that Gabe is his son, because he sure can talk. :)
-Gabe's ability to understand things and say new things.
-Israel's little "O" mouth that he makes when he is wide awake and watching the world. Or fan or lights, rather. :)
-Gabe's cutest ever little sturdy, plump little squeezable legs. They are ADORABLE!!!! I also love how Gabe's skin matches mine perfectly. I have more yellow-toned skin, and Tim is redder, and Gabe's skin is exactly like mine, and for some reason, I just love it!!
-Kissable neck folds, on both babies.
-Plump little squeezy cheeks, on both babies. I love to kiss my babies!!!

So if anyone wants to come and hold these babies, come on over. They are really precious. And if you look up and I'm not in the room anymore, I'll be in bed, sleeping, or perhaps on the rug in the hall....

SOMEBODY found Mom's lipstick in a drawer.

"Frustrating"

Let me describe for you the term “frustrating”. “Frustration” is what you feel when you have been holding your 2 week-old infant son for two hours, and he will not be consoled for longer than 5 minutes at a time. You have laid down with him several times, nursed him several times, burped him repeatedly (with no results), tried pacifier time and time again (which works until it falls out, and then there is a lot of screaming and he will not hardly take it again), tried bouncing, tried laying him down on his back, changing his diaper and outfit when it was wet, yada yada yadayadayada ad infinitum. Whenever you lay him down in his cradle, he wakes up from his semi-slumber and cries and cries, so you finally have to lay down again with him in the bed, which is something you are trying not to do, because you don’t want to start it as a pattern, but eventually all you care about is that he just go to sleep. “Frustration” is what you feel at this point. And “frustrated” tears are what you cry. And finally he is asleep. That, my dears, is called “a sigh of relief”.

Little sweetum's.

Late night tummy-ache session...

The Hooded Pan Man

Gabriel busy at work in the kitchen.

Yesterday, Gabriel walked up to Tim and said "Choc'late? Mo' choc'late? (Pause) Ok. I go get some." And turned around and walked off busily. :) He didn't get any, then, because Tim said no, but it was pretty funny, nonetheless. He did the same thing with me later. "CD? Doggy CD? 'Kay. I go get." :)

I took Israel to the doctor this morning for his 2 week checkup. He weighed 9 lbs 13 oz, at 15 days old. He is in the 50th percentile for weight. They didn't measure him, but even at his birth length, 21 1/2 inches, he would be 75th percentile for length at this point. He definitely has grown.

Gabriel continues to be very affectionate with Israel. Life sure does feel busy with the two of them. Israel will be wailing while Gabe needs to be fed, changed, etc. Israel certainly does have that wailing part down. My goodness. He seems to "need" me more specifically than Gabe did. Probably because he eats more than Gabe did. He also has his fussy times in the evening, like Gabe did. And he needs to be held during them, basically from 8 PM until he goes to sleep, around 10:30 or 11:30 or so. Makes one a mite weary. But he sure is a sweetie, I tell you what!!! :) Well worth the extra work, both babies are.

Vital Statistics

Things I want to note for the record:

1. Israel was 8 lbs 1 oz when he was born on 10/15. He was 7 lbs 11 oz (I think) when we left the hospital on Tuesday, 10/17. He was 8 lbs 4 oz when we went to the doctor on Thursday 10/19, and 8 lbs 4 on Friday 10/20, and 8 lbs .07 oz on Sunday 10/22.

2. Israel was jaundiced - breastfeeding jaundice. His bilirubin was 11 when we left the hospital on 10/17, 14.0 on 10/19, 15.9 on 10/20, and 14.0 on 10/22.

3. Israel lost his umbilical cord last night, 10/27, when he was 13 days old. He got his first water immersion bath today. He did that startle reflex thing when I put him in the water, with his arms going out, and started to fuss a little, but calmed down right away, and didn't seem to mind it at all. Here is a picture to document the proceedings. :) His mommy does lots of "documentation".














A before bath yaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnn!!!
















Life in the water was just not so bad!! (Isn't he a sweetheart?!!)

Mom left today to go home. :( We will miss her very very much. Gabe has talked about "Gamma" several times today...Thanks for everything you did, Mom!!!

Baths and Dawdy Houses and Such

Grandma Edith giving Israel his bath by the kitchen sink. Israel always gets all wide awake and fluffy-headed with his bath, and smells so kissable!!!

























Tim and I have decided to build a Dawdy House in our backyard, so mom and dad can just move on in and help out. We think this is a great idea, and hope to see it implemented soon...if Dad can just move down here and start building it....

Mommy's Bed

In the morning, Gabriel often asks to go to "Mommy's. Bed?" Now I have two little boys to cuddle in the morning. Groggily.

This is the silly kid. He eyed Israel's hat yesterday, and had to grab one of his own to wear to eat, along with his "cool" glasses. What a poser. He gets this "secretly pleased with myself" look on his face, and can't quite hide his grin.














Gives new meaning to "snug as a bug in a rug". This is Israel at 7 days old.














Israel in his cradle.

In other trivial news, this is Israel's due date today! Instead, we've enjoyed the pleasure of his company for a whole week now. Also, the nice thing is that my maternity leave does still not officially start for another week. Heh heh heh. I am workin' the system, folks, workin' the system... :)

Israel Caleb Miller

Israel Caleb Miller was born on October 15, 2006 at 9:34 PM. He weighed 8 pounds, 1 ounce, and was 21 1/2 inches long.

He is now 4 days old, and is doing wonderfully. He has been a great eater - we went to the doctor today and he was 8 lbs 4 oz. She gave him a seal of approval - except for his bilirubin - he is somewhat jaundiced, and we get to go back in tomorrow morning to recheck his levels.

Gabe is doing great with him. He seems to like him, and wants to hold him sometimes, and often wants to give him "hugs and kisses". He also likes to rub his hair. Life is adjusting pretty well for him, despite a few bumps here and there. It's been sort of a wild ride of people for Gabe, when Grandma and Granddaddy Beery and Grandpa and Grandma Miller and Uncle Rusty and Aunt Lynette came to visit last weekend, and then Mommy and Daddy sort of disappeared for a few days, and then everybody went home, but Grandma was here, and then "the new new baby" was here, and Mommy and Daddy were back home.... Phew. But he loves having Grandma here, and the new baby is pretty good too. :)

I am feeling pretty good...and usually pretty tired. Israel wakes up about every 2-3 hours to eat at night, but THANKFULLY goes back to sleep afterwards. The worst part is the wrenching myself out of my nice warm bed to change his diaper. It's very nice to be able to lay flat again in bed, and to only look 4 months pregnant instead of 14 months pregnant. :) (The abs need some work, lets say...) I am SO INCREDIBLY GLAD that Mom is here to help - it is so wonderful to have somebody else feed me great food and help out everywhere - I am not sure what in the world we would do without her.

So that's the latest...I'll try to keep updating pictures!

Carrie

"The Latest"

So here's "the latest" in baby news. Dilated 3 cm, 75% effaced (!!), baby is at station -2 (which means he is low). So folks, anytime, that's all I'm saying. I actually thought he was coming today, but apparently he is not, as I am still at home and it is 11:30 at night. :) Lots of irregular contractions today, though. And not the most comfy of ones, either. Will keep you posted....

Preggo

One

Sometimes, One despairs a bit, because One doesn't seem to fit into any of One's clothes any longer. ("Buy the size you were before you were pregnant", the sage little labels advise. Hah. I'm not sure how that works out in the favor of anyone but the marketer.) So, sometimes, One wears rather odd conglomerations of clothes...say, for example, to go to Kroger's at 10:30 at night to buy some cider and grapefruit...and One simply just doesn't care how One looks. She just waddles happily away, filling her cravings, oblivious and unconcerned.

WAAHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!

Praise the Lord, Hallelujah!!!!!! My 4 month work marathon is OVER!!!! Today was the last day I had to work to get all of my holidays off, and now I don't have to go back until the third or fourth week in January. Seriously, it is a HUGE feeling of relief!!! I am taking, like, four days in a row off now, to get all my OTHER stuff done that I have been itching to do and just whittling away on. And to spend time with my precious little son!!!!

No baby yet...just getting bigger and bigGER and BIGGER....

My Shorn Son

SOMEBODY'S Daddy is just a little clipper-happy. That's all I'm saying. So AFTER the haircut he tells me "Well, I was missing the #2 guard." So he uses the very shortest one. I have a hard time keeping my son in hair.

So I went to the doctor again on Wednesday. Everything still looks good. She could tell by just feeling my stomach that he has a lot of amniotic fluid. She estimated him to be about 6 1/2 lbs when he is born, also, which is just what the other doctor said last week. Three more days to go, baby, and then you can come. I'm already past working Christmas. Now I'm just aiming at not working New Years. So far, so good. I think he has dropped some, though. And Mom said there is a full moon on Saturday, and that does have some effect on causing labor.... I am working Sunday, though, so labor won't suit me that day. :)

Now. To brag on my husband. My husband is such a good daddy. He does such a good job at taking care of Gabriel while I am working, and lately, when I've been absolutely exhausted when I get home, he uncomplainingly keeps going, and gives him a bath if I don't have energy, and does all the "getting" it takes to get Gabe to bed. (I'm serious. These days I feel like a huge ponderous dinosaur swinging his neck futiley, watching the zippy little rapscallions buzz around him...way too burdensome to give chase. Gabe is the zippiest little rapscallion ever after his bath. You have to chase him to get diapers on him, lotion on him, clothes on him, toothbrushed...) The other day, after Tim had been totally immersed in school stuff all day - schoolwork all morning, class all afternoon, we went out to Cici's Pizza for supper just for a fun family thing, and then stopped at the church to pick up Tim's car. Gabe thought we were there to let him play drums and he cried and cried as we drove home. Tim hunted down the church key, and drove him back, just so he could play a little while - just because he loves him. Now that is a loving daddy. He is very patient and lets Gabe play with his guitars, and takes him outside to play, even when he doesn't really want to...I married such a great guy.

In other news, my son is BIG into chocolate. BIG. Silence in the kitchen = Gabe in the candy drawer. He has this particular affinity for these dark Dove chocolates that Norm bought the other weekend when they were here, and comes out of the kitchen with chocolate dripping down his chin, and another chocolate clutched tightly in his sweaty palm. What a goof. He must be related to his mother.