Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Sleep Deprivation

So I'm sitting in the office, listening to Israel screaming in the next room. Today is not the day for sleep. I simply feel at my wits end, and don't really know quite what to do. Last night, Israel woke up at least every 45 minutes, often 10 minutes after I laid him down again. All night. Then this morning he napped for about 25 minutes, and was up until I laid him down about 1:45 PM, and then he was up again in 25 minutes. I nursed him back to sleep, and when I laid him down he woke right back up. Gabe has not been napping well recently either, and was yelling in his bed across the hall, and I marched right over there with steel in my voice and a glint in my eye, and let Israel cry. I let him cry earlier today, when I knew he was tired, and it seemed to upset him so much that it took a while to calm him down - he only calmed down when I gave him formula out of a bottle (nice, child, nice), and then carried him around over my shoulder. But. It is now 2:18, and Israel is asleep, after only about 5 minutes of crying. Praise You, Jesus!!!! And Gabe is still awake, and crabby, with purple shadows under his eyes, despite stories before bed, despite pacifiers, despite warm milk, despite warnings of impending spanks.

It really leaves you feeling as if you are teetering on the fragile edge of sanity, your arms literally shaky and weak from frustration, after 20 minutes of exhausted pre-nap screaming from your 4 month old, and continued refusals to sleep from Gabe. Yesterday, he was in his crib - happily, mind you - for two hours without sleeping, whilst I lay semi-comatose on the couch. I got him up eventually, and then he fell asleep on the couch.
It's not that he's ready to go without a nap, because he will sleep for 3 hours still when he does fall asleep. It's just that he won't go to sleep! Between exhaustion and frustration, I could easily burst into tears. Or simply go huddle in the nearest corner and rock back and forth while talking happily to my imaginary friend.

So, therefore, it seems we may have to go the crying route for this wee one. I didn't have to do it with Gabe, but this ABSOLUTELY cannot continue, or I will age at the approximate speed of 1 year per day.
On the nice husband, side, however, Tim let me sleep until 11. Blessed husband.
This is Israel's favorite toy right now. It was a gift from his Aunt Melody, and has inspired many prolonged minutes of big-eyed, O-mouthed, huffy breathed arm waving.
All frustrations aside, what cutie-pies these babies are! Yesterday, when I was taking bread out of the toaster, Gabriel said "Mommy! That bread is cute!" :) He also wanted to go to the store to find Granddaddy. His favorite activities: going to church, going to the store, and going to get a cheeseboga'.

1 comment:

Cottonista said...

oh, Carrie, it sounds rough! I have had moments/days when I just want to dissolve in tears too, because I'm so tired I can't think, and I'll I can do is chant, "Help me Jesus, Help me Jesus." I'm glad he answers prayers like that.