Thursday, April 10, 2008

Tiredness, Inc.

So mostly what I am these days is SO. TIRED. Today I had one of those days where I spent the majority of it draped over various furniture, eyes closed, as the boys played around me, longing in the deepest innermost parts of my being for SLEEP. Heavy limbs, heavy eyelids, shuffling walk, yawning mouth - Me.

I see-saw between thinking that something is wrong with me, that I'm bearing four children in utero (all very very tiny, I suppose), that my thyroid medication needs to be adjusted...and then thinking - well, I often wake up at least once with at least one child, or to pee, and often I have trouble going back to sleep...and then Mr. Rumpled Hair Cheery Chirp rises and shines at 7:30 AM and I stumble out of bed to greet the world with him...and all I want is another two hours of sleep. I go to bed way earlier than I ever did before, and get probably 7+ hours of sleep if I'm not interrupted...but I must need more.

It's just disheartening. I was so excited about staying home with the boys, and still am, but have such little energy to do much with them right now. I was planning to have it all together - the sparkling house, the happily busy children, the project busy mommy...and instead I feel like I'm struggling to make it through the days. I'm not saying this for pity, I'm just saying it a little sadly, and just so I can remember, eighteen years or so down the road when I have lots of energy and have it ALL together. Mark your calendars.

I just miss energy. A lot.


Cottonista said...

When you find that missing energy, go ahead and forward me some. That is, if you have enough left in your pinky finger to click the mouse.

Anonymous said...

You will....and less than 18 years down the go take a nap, even if ya gotta keep one eye open!! And don't feel ONE BIT guilty for laying on that couch!!! If you need me, I'm a mile away! ~ Elvida

Anonymous said...

Carrie I can totally sympathize when I was first pregnant with this one and Elliot was 4 months old. And he didn't nap but a couple of 30 to 45 minute naps during the day. Hopefully you can find a few times here and there to nap. In the long run, at this age your boys will not remember if the house was sparkling clean or if there mommy had lots of projects to work on!! Rest up and take advantage of offered help!!

kristinbucher said...

I hear you. Perfect description the energiless, pregnant life. :) I remember all too well. There's always hope. One day soon you'l feel better. One day in the future we'll have it all together. That day is not today. :)