Wednesday, January 14, 2009

For the Record

For the record, let it be known, that I am freakin' TIRED of phlegm. TIRED OF IT!!!! Tired of thick streams of snot running down a freshly wiped face, tired of dried snot on kid's noses, tired of loose, phlegmy coughs, tired of hacking, dry coughs, tired of coughs that make kids gag and vomit, tired of mucus in all forms, including drool. And while I'm at it...I'm tired of messy faces, I'm tired of silliness that I just want to send to his room, I'm tired of never feeling on top of anything, I'm tired of every single simple task having 4,000 interruptions. I'm tired of never getting to work on the massive pile of pictures on my computer. I'm tired of the baby being cranky cranky cranky and screaming his head off every single time I (gasp!! the nerve of me!!) sit him down to try to get something done, which I understand is a totally unreasonable luxury. I'm tired of him suddenly changing things, like not wanting his pacifier any more, and not wanting to be put to sleep in ways that used to work that included his pacifier. I'm so tired of him going to sleep at 9:30 PM and waking up at 10:30 PM to stay awake until 1 AM. I'm so tired of his crankiness and not being able to figure out what on earth caused it beside the known things that I DID NOT EAT. I miss caffeine. I miss black tea. I miss mint tea. I miss coffee. I miss having time in the evening that does not involve trying arduously to get the baby back to sleep.

Last night when Tim walked out the door at 7 PM to go to a meeting and Zion was screaming and Israel was flailing around with wailing and tears and snot of great proportions because Daddy was leaving, only stopping to hack sicklyish and Gabe was jumping hyperly around sans pants as is typical stopping only to hack sicklyish - I felt myself droop as it felt like 3/4 of my energy left with Tim. There is much to be said for moral support. So I called my friend Emily and let Zion bellow in her ear for a while. :) Heh heh heh heh.

I love my children. I love staying home with them. I would not trade it for anything. I don't think I have it any harder than any other mommy out there, and know I have it easier than some. This is just my written equivalent of screaming into my pillow.

Off to kiss a a soft baby head and stare mutely at the laundry pile...

5 comments:

Kris said...

I totally know!!!

Anonymous said...

Carrie, I feel for you. It must be especially hard not to be close to family when you have 3 young children. I totally agree about husbands being moral support - I know I wouldn't be nearly as good of a mom if it wasn't for Martin. I'm just now starting to think I may want more than just 2 children - it's taken 9 months!
Praying those snotty noses and coughs soon clear up so all will be a might happier.
-Sylvia

Sara, Brian & Lauren said...

You crack me up!! Don't worry...you are not the only one who gets tired!

Anonymous said...

Hey, anything to help you get through the day :) Wish I could see you this weekend!
emily

emily b said...

I feel your pain, and we have all been here....I think I am there right now...haha...but I always somehow manage to pic up the pieces and go on :)