Monday, November 19, 2007

Crushed Beetle Juice

So I have had a splinter in my foot for several months now, that has recently really started hurting. That's right, I said "several months". The girl at the doctor's office today looked at me like I was a complete dork when I told her that. She also looked at me like I was a complete dork when I politely refused a preliminary X-ray unless absolutely needed due to the fact that our current insurance has a deductible of like, 4 skillion dollars, and then huffed out of the room with a roll of the eyes. Well, then.

The doctor came in, scratched away at my foot for a bit, then put a drop of crushed beetle juice on it to flush the splinter out in a blister. She also added hair of gnat, 4 drops of cow urine, and a dash of powdered lice, clapped her hands three times, and raced around my chair in an Indian head-dress. A very interesting experience in all. (Kidding about all but the Juice of Beetle.)

I'm supposed to go back in 2 weeks for her to remove the dad-gum thing. How weird is this treatment? I'm very intrigued.

While I was gone, Gabriel managed to dump all of the flour into the sugar, and mix it with a large amount of Crisco. As of two minutes ago, he dumped the entire bag of Rice Chex on the floor so as to load it by hand into his dump truck, and is licking the remains off the carpet.

Well, then.

This is Gimpy, over and out.


Anonymous said...

Okay, that's just bizarre. Are you serious??? And what was a nurse doing going around with a splinter for a month? Crazy girl. Candice

Carolyn said...

Carrie, remind us at christmas time to take x-rays if it still hurts.

Elaine said...

Okay, that is really strange about the beetle juice!

Anonymous said...

Beetle juice?!?! That is really weird! I'll have to plunder on the shelves the next time I fill in at the doc's office and see if any of that is floating around :). Janice

Cottonista said...

I echo Candice. A nurse walks around with a splinter for a MONTH. How many more beetles will have to die, Carrie?

joy said...

So do you think there's any benefit to squashing spiders barefoot? :) Was Gabe trying to make piecrust? Sounds messy.