Thursday, November 15, 2007

Day Dreams

Tonight is one of those nights when I wish I could just be ALONE.

These days, my daydreams are pretty simple. Time by myself, in a quiet house, laying in the sun, watching the wind blow the trees outside my window, and drooling chocolate on my book as I drift off into glorious, peaceful, uninterrupted midday slumber. This friends, is my "priceless. And for everything else, there's Mastercard" of late.


Of course I love my boys to pieces. That's a given. Of course I would endure a million years without breaks in order to have them around. It's just that no one can deny the luxury of that mythical dream called a "break". 'Cause that's all it feels like of late. A mythical dream.

Now, I am not asking for sympathy here. I'm just enjoying a good whine. If I really really wanted to, I suppose I could rouse up the motivation to go in determined search of a babysitter. Honestly? Last time we had a babysitter? Mmmmm. Not real sure. Oh yes. Our anniversary in June. My babysitter issues involve the following:

1. Don't know anyone in that tender, would-love-babysitting-money age range that can actually drive, or that isn't hugely busy with social life.
2. Don't really like to swap babysitting, because I hate babysitting.
3. Feel guilty if I don't pay someone my own age who babysits a "real" wage. Which I don't really feel like I can hardly afford.

Sigh. This, my friends, is yet another reason to live close to family that you can take full, unfettered advantage of. Heh heh. Not that I would know anything about that pipe dream.

So I suppose I will just have to live vicariously through my daydreams of an house that is empty for a few hours because Tim took both boys to Walmart to do my shopping and browse in the toy section for a few hours....or to the park in a random 75 degree day-in-late-November-that-could-happen-you-never-know....or nights out on the town where I get to eat a leisurely supper out at a real restaurant with my husband, watch a movie, and saunter my way slowly home.

Instead, I shall type furiously on my computer, oh, wait - peck one fingered on my computer while holding a young child DETERMINED to conquer the keyboard whilst the elder one wails in the distance - Mommymommymommymommymommy. His daddy may deal with that one tonight. I'm sipping hot chocolate and watching Grey's Anatomy Season 3. By the whirring heater. In my comfy PJ's. And sleeping in until 11:30 and dressing slowly and driving to Denny's for a breakfast and then coming back to read a little, do no housework whatsoever, cook no meals, and have a nice long afternoon nap. At which point I will be thrilled to welcome my babies back with open arms and lots of hugs and kisses and tummy gittin's.

Or I just won't do any of of the former, say I did, and just go straight to the latter.

Off to git some tummies...


Anonymous said...

I'm with you, sister! If it weren't for afternoon naps, i'd be insane. Oh, and the 8:00 kid bedtime that gives us some time to "date" in our own home. We watch a LOT of movies. Once in a while it would just be AWESOME to be home alone or to go out on the town with T(BKK is so cool at night, and I've seen it a very limited number of times!). I'm wistfully sighing with you.....Candice

Anonymous said...

I can also identify and having the grandparents closer to babysit doesn't look like a possibilty in the forseable future. I look forward to the days when both the girls are in school, but then i'll probably be busy with something else (or we'll be in a place where we have to home school. grr.) Oh well, i wouldn't trade it either. Carmen

Anonymous said...

I see you are really needing to come to De and have me for a surogate grandma to babysit like I was telling you I would love to do. I do not charge and would be offended if you tried. I am looking for some Grandparent training as my children aren't obliging me:)Even though it's been a few years I do remember what those years of no time for anything else were like, and believe it or not they go by all too quickly. Thinking of you and Tim and the boys alot. Blessings Pat Mast

Carrie said...

Candice - wish I could come babysit for you so you could see the cool world of Bangkok.

Carmen - Yeah, one space fills up as soon as it opens in life it seems. I wish I could come babysit for you too. Alas, unless I win the lottery that I don't play...probably won't. :)

Pat - HEY!! :) Good to hear from you! Trust me, I certainly have not forgotten your offer, and have already thought of it wistfully. :) Many miles away. :) Thanks for thinking of us - we are thinking of you too!!