Bits and Tids

*I'm having quite a quandry this afternoon - both buddies are finally down, and there is so much I can/should be doing right now, but I feel like I never have time to blog anymore, and it's cathartic! So, here I am.

*We have had quite a time with naps recently, and are finally seeming to get a handle on things. Israel likes to do the 45-minute nap snack thing, which is simply not long enough. Tim has discovered the fine tuned art of patting (The No Cry Sleep Solution - forget who wrote it)- you pat his bottom hard enough that his head bounces gently up towards the top of the cradle, and he will go back to sleep, to nap for about two hours. I, however, unfortunate as it may be, cannot seem to master this technique when I am home alone. Scowl. Ah well, I guess I'll give it another go later.

















Now, Gabe's naps are a whole different issue. His problem has been that when he feels himself start to get a little sleepy, he will work himself to a fevered pitch by starting to tear around the house yelling at the top of his lungs, until he skids back to a stop in front of you, panting, eyes feverishly bright and a huge and hyper grin on his face. This generally occurs while I'm nursing Israel, and is highly frustrating. So, borrowing from Dr. Weissbluth's methods (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - or something like that), I popped him in bed the other day right after he asked for his pacifier, which means he is starting to get tired. Then I marched in there sternly everytime he kept cranking himself back awake. Seriously, he will be yelling and banging the crib with his foot - he has to lay there quietly before he gets tired. So, that worked better. It only took him an hour to go to sleep. And that was not an hour of full quietness, mind you, but of "learning to be quiet". I had just had it. When neither of these boys are napping, not only is it not good for them, it's really bad for your mental well-being! You can't ever recharge!

*I got Gabe these two cute little books out of the library called "Sam Eats A Cookie" and "Sam Goes To The Potty". They have one sentence on one little page, and a picture on the other one. In the "Potty" one, Sam is grouchy about going to the potty, and he is looking at the potty and shaking his finger and saying "Dumb ol' potty!" Tim said yesterday that when he was reading to Gabe and got to that page, Gabe laughed and laughed and laughed, and then later he saw him sitting on the couch with the book open to that one page for the longest time, saying "Dumb ol' potty" and laughing and laughing so hard he fell over backwards. :)

*I brought the 12 month clothes out of the attic last night to get some more PJ's for Israel, and they fit just fine! :) A little extra room, but not a lot.

*When Israel is fussy as I'm getting him dressed after his bath, I found a trick that works everytime. I sing

"Hush little baby, don't say a word;
Mama's going to buy you a Geee-geee-geee.

"If that Geee-geee-gee don't Geeee,
Mama's going to buy you a Bbbbbb-bbbbb-bbbbb" (rolling lips).

"If that bbbbb-bbbb-bbbb don't bbbbb,
Mama's going to buy you a dddhh-ddhhhh-dddhhh" (rolling tongue on roof of mouth).

"If that dddhh-dddhh-dddhhh don't dddhhh,
Mama's going to buy you a Geeeee-Bbbbb-Ddddhhh."

Nothing like an intelligent conversation with your child. :) See, people, THIS is what my world has been reduced to! :) But it's all worth it to hear the happy geeeee's coming out of his mouth. That is his happy talking noise that he's been doing from two months on. I keep being surprised to see him do something developmentally new. You get so used to this lump of person staring at you, and all of a sudden they start talking and grinning and trying to sit up, and you're like - oh yes! There's a little person in there!

*So I tried some cereal with Israel. He was very excited. So excited, in fact, that he got TOTALLY worked up again, yelling angrily at the top of his lungs when it wasn't coming RIGHTNOWRIGHTNOWRIGHTNOW!!!!!!! Good-ness. I decided he can wait a little longer. It's just too much work and screaming for something he doesn't even actually NEED yet.















*Huh! I do believe I successfully patted Israel back to sleep! I'm going to go strut my stuff out to the kitchen now and make supper...

Trucks

It's understandable, but still a bit disconcerting the day you catch yourself riding the elevator at work, humming:

"I like trucks, I always will;
Big or small, I like them still!
I like trucks, I always will;
I! LIKE! TRUCKS!"

Miller Happenings

Long time, no write. So I have a bunch to get caught up on. Currently, I am recovering from, oh yes, the flu. Just what I needed. Ah well. So here's all my miscellaneous happenings. Last Friday night when I was putting Israel to sleep, I noticed that he had a faintly croupy sounding cough. We had to take Gabe to the ER when he was 3 months old with croup, so I thought it could be indications of something we needed to watch. At 2 AM, he woke up crying, and with severe stridor - the crowing noise that you get when the airway is blocked. We rushed him into the bathroom and turned on the hot shower for steam, but it didn't do anything, and it was absolutely terrifying to listen to him struggle to breathe. It only took me a few seconds to decide to call 911, and while we were waiting, we stood out on the porch in the the absolutely freezing air to try to see some improvement, with Israel in his PJ's and a blanket, and me in my bathrobe. The cold air didn't do much either, and he still hadn't quit crying, and his voice seemed so weak and he seemed to really be struggling for air...talk about non-stop praying. It seemed to take the ambulance forever to get here, and I rode with him to the hospital. He improved somewhat on the ride, and quit crying at least. At the hospital they gave him a racemic epinepherine nebulizer treatment and a steroid shot, and he went home with a prescription for 3 days of steroids. The nebulizer worked almost right away, just as it had done with Gabe, but when he got back home he still sounded pretty bad, so we made his room really cold and bundled him up nice and warm with a hat and put him to bed, and he slept well. We had a woman who went to our church who had a niece who actually died from croup, so we have been all the more wary because of that.

You will notice in the above paragraph I referred to "his" room. That would be Israel's room, ie. our room. We are both currently sleeping on the living room floor, just for the sake of everyone involved. Our bed is so creaky that it creaks when you lift up a pillow or lift up blankets. Then, when you add two tossing and turning people and one flappy-eared dog...ain't nobody getting any sleep. Before, Israel would wake up, and I would feed him and lay him back down, and then wake him back up by climbing into bed. Maddening is not even the word. We can't put him in with Gabe, because he often goes to sleep before Gabe and Gabe often talks loudly and at length after he goes to bed, and we don't have any other rooms to put him in where we wouldn't be. So. Hello floor.

*****************

These are the new pictures of my chillin's. Are they precious or what?
























































When we went to get them taken, there was a woman there by herself with three young children, one of them a baby, and of course they were having pre-lunch meltdowns, and as I struggled with my own pre-lunch meltdown child, I wished so bad I could help her out. I can't imagine taking two children by myself to get pictures, let alone three. It just takes so long to get through pictures and then picture selection.

Now on to life updates:

Tim - Tim has started his last semester of seminary. He is taking an overload so that he can finish, plus watching the kids while I work, plus still leading worship at church, plus looking for a job. I am pretty sure that this will probably be one of the most stressful periods ever of life for us. He is looking for a pastoring job - we think - probably ideally a teaching pastor job, but probably doesn't exist for him right now. Most of those jobs want to to have "at least 10 years experience with church of 10,000 or greater". Or something like that. :) So pray for him when you think about him, because life is so crazy busy right now.

Carrie - I am just recovered from a 102.1 degree, 24 hour flu that was highly untimely and highly uncomfortable. But praise the Lord that it wasn't a repeat of last year's week-long flu. I am back at work part-time, while trying to keep the house spit-shiny clean on my days off just in case we have a showing. We've only had one so far. I'm not really doing hardly any Mary Kay right now simply because I am so busy from everything else. The thing is, when I go back to work, I have the same amount of things left to get done at home, but 18-24 hours less a week to get them done in. But life is still good. Just really really really busy.

Gabriel - Gabe is a little chatterbox. He talks in complete sentences now, and has been doing so for a month or two. It is so fun and funny to hear what is in his head - when you can understand him. He still requires a lot of deciphering. The other day when we were leaving church he cried and cried, and finally I figured out that he was saying "But I was having a good time! I was having fun!" :) Poor guy! I was surprised that he could articulate all that.

He's also into singing. "Jesus Loves Me", "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", "Are You Sleeping?", "Mommy Loves Her Baby", and one by Sting and the Police "I Can't Stand Losing You". :) He sings "I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't".

He has started to say "Thank You" on his own - "Cank Yoo, Mommy!" - and it is so sweet. We end up thanking him for saying thank you, just because it makes us so happy to hear it! He also likes to "help". Help cook, help put things in the trash...he actually can be helpful at this stage, which is nice. He also likes to agree - "Dat's wite!" Or, "Yeah, soor (sure)!" He also precedes decisions by "mmmms". "Gabe, do you want an orange?" "Mmmmmmmmmm....OK!" One of the cutest new things is how he asks if he can have something: "Do I want a ____?" :)

Just a week or so ago, he started to pretend. "I'm a monkey! Ooh-ooh! Eee-Eee! I'm a lion! Raow!" One of the more annoying things that he pretends is that he is the Cookie Monster, who he saw on Sesame Street, who "eats" his cookies, when they are actually just falling out the sides of his puppet mouth. So Gabe likes to TRY to be Cookie Monster with all sorts of items: cookies, pretzels, apples...which involves him growling and shoveling items into his mouth to chew a few times and then let them fall out the sides. Lovely. After the first few times of this experience, however, we all learned together that Gabe is not a Cookie Monster. Gabe is Gabe, Gabe is a Big Boy, and Gabriel will eat his current goodies as such.














The most frustrating aspect of taking care of him continues to be the whole physical interaction with Israel. Gabe likes him so much, and wants to express affection in so many ways, but so many of them are not appropriate yet, but he just doesn't understand. Yesterday, while standing at the couch with Israel in his bouncer, Gabe leaned down to give him a "loving" head-bump with his own head - and it was way too hard. He is so physically boisterous, that we have lots of rules around here. No jumping on the couch. No somersaulting on the couch. No somersaulting from the couch to the floor. No jumping off the arm of the couch to land in a somersault on the couch and wind up on the floor. Same for the bed. Man, we're strict. :)

Israel - Israel has turned into the happiest little sweetest smiler you may ever find. He is so precious! He is also a big boy! When they weighed him at the hospital last Saturday, at 3 months and 2 1/2 weeks, he was 17.5 pounds. And I have the muscles to prove it! :) He was wearing a twelve-month outfit the other day, and it fit just fine!

The past two weeks he has really been looking at things, and last week he started the partial sit-up, where he really tries to crank himself upwards so he can see better. He also is really batting at things, and checking them out. This is a picture of him focusing on something while Tim was holding him. He was mostly cross-eyed!



















For about two weeks, Israel has insisted on being held while we are eating, by fussing and fussing in the bouncer, and quieting immediately and sitting contentedly when I held him in my lap while we ate. Well, last week, after Tim gave him a few licks of ice cream, he became very adamant that he needed tastes of what we were eating. I just touch it to his tongue or give him a little sauce and he laps his little tongue. It is so funny. Gabe was like him, too - showing interest in food really early on. Today, when we were eating, he got so worked up that I finally let him suck on a piece of bread, and then it was all over from there. He just SCREAMED in anger when I took it away from him. He cried and cried and cried. Same thing this afternoon when I was eating an orange. He got all worked up, agitated, fussing, arms whirling, legs kicking watching me eat my orange. When I squeezed just a little juice in his mouth, he's then crying like his little heart is going to break unless I give him more. A bit more, and he's happy. And then he sees me eat more, and he is screaming. Not fussy. Yelling at the top of his lungs. Until I give him more. Repeat scenario multiple times. So today we're going to go buy some baby cereal. Better for baby tummies.














He's been sleeping pretty good usually. He falls asleep around 9:30 and sleeps until around 2 or 3 or 4. He really is such a cuddle-munchkin. He smiles with his whole body.

So. I think that I have written a long enough book that now I am going to go make lunch. Toodles!

One of those days

Ok. It’s 1:45 and Gabe just went down for a nap, so I’m going to take Israel and run to town to do some shopping while Tim runs on the treadmill and then works here on job stuff…except Gabe isn’t quite asleep yet, so I will wait until he goes to sleep until I leave…and now Israel is falling asleep, so I guess I won’t go to town, but Tim can leave and go get the books that he needs at school when he is done running…but now Gabe is still awake and it is 2:40, so Tim is getting him back up and he is tearing out into the living room at full speed as I sneak past with a sleeping Israel, who I lay gently down in his cradle…and back out to the living room where I decide that Gabe and I should go downstairs to do some laundry…except the creak of the dryer door and the noise of the chair in the office where Tim is sitting wake up Israel…so back up the steps we go to get the baby up…so I decide to sweep the hardwood floor which works fine until I’m halfway done and decide that it is 3:20 and Gabe absolutely needs to go down for his nap, so back down he goes…and then it’s me and Israel again, who I vainly bounce in his bouncer for a while in an attempt to get him back to sleep, and finally decide we will go and make supper and wash up some dishes, as it is 4:00, until I am done with the dishes and Israel is not happy, so I pick him up and wonder if it would be possible to make supper while I am carrying him…I really wanted to make some ham and cheese quiche, so maybe I’ll get all the ingredients in one place and then sit him back in his bouncer so I can bounce him while I work…except I don’t have salad dressing or eggs…so no quiche tonight…now what do I make?...oh, yes, apple crisp...but I only have one apple...and now Israel is asleep and it is 4:30, so I go lay him down. Now, what was I doing?...and now it's 1/2 hour later and Israel is awake again, and Gabe is yelling across the hall...if you need me, I'll be across the way, methodically and thoughtfully pulling the remaining three hairs out of my head.

Jingle Bells in January

Today we had a realtor come over to set up the eventual sale of our house for millions of dollars. Who would have known we would have hit the jackpot of houses? What can I say? Sure is nice to be the Millers.

Our realtor was here for 4 hours. Wow. That is a long, long time to focus on the house. We were both mentally FRIED by the time he left. So tonight I’ve been literally zoning on the couch, longing for peace and quiet and all thing bubble-bathy and quietly crackling fires and riveting books to read. Instead there is Chaos himself careening around with his truck, and Chewy gumming my sweater.

Gabe put on a Christmas CD, and as I sat there staring blankly at the carpet fringe, I felt endorphins start to fire off as the tinkling bells pealed forth from my January speaker. I LUURVE Christmas. Christmas songs give me such a warm fuzzy feeling. I was lost in the land of snow drifting gently from the sky; silent, flashing red Christmas bells above the paper nativity scene at Grandma’s house; joyfully bellowing Christmas carols in the cold, cold night air as I gaze happily around at my friends bundled up around me; getting all dressed up in velvet dresses to go to see people sing at me from a large Christmas tree; sitting in Grandma’s basement staring at unopened piles of wrapped gifts, delicious anticipation swirling, waiting to see which pile is mine (ahhh, the true meaning of Christmas); lying nose to camel as I carefully arrange the colored lights in the nativity scene to see which color makes baby Jesus look the most serene; hearing the crunch crunch crunch of snow under my nifty cool insulated boots as I trudge up the sledding hill, smelling the smoke from the fire at the top… thinking how it would be sort of interesting if my toes actually fell off from the coldness resulting from the ineffective insulation in said boots… Christmas to me is the happiness of winter, friends, family, and that previously mentioned delightfully anticipatory feeling in my stomach… So I sat there on the couch, feeling that same feeling, holding my son, listening to “O Come O Come Emmanuel”, and felt some of the stress ease slowly away. Holiday therapy, courtesy of Gabriel Toots. No crazy pills needed.

So, anyways, if you are interested in our house, I might give you a $900,000 discount. Now that, my friends, is a deal. What can I say? I'm just sharing the joy of Christmas!

The Magnet Mommy

I'm beginning to believe that I have a giant internal magnet located deep within my vital organs that I never knew about. If, on a rare and wonderful day, I hand the wee one to Tim and speed off to the bedroom to lay down and stretch sleepily for a few blissful silent sunny moments...within about 45 seconds the door bursts open, with the dog waddling in purposefully to find out what I am up to...followed by the two year old, in hot pursuit of the dog, who is gleefully thrilled to find out that Mommy is in bed!!! WHHOOOO-HOOOOO!!! Let's all fling ourselves around in joyful abandon on the bed, giggling wildly, almost whacking our head several times on the footboard, and/or coming within a hairsbreadth of a full on catapulting off of the side of the bed onto a decidedly hard, and potentially quite painful cradle-landing. Dear Husband follows him by 15 seconds, with wee one in his arms, curious to see what all is going on - and since we're all here why don't we just stay and talk to Mom. Truly restful.

Same thing happens when I try to sit down on the toilet for a few presumably solitary seconds. The door flies open (the dog has the uncanny and highly irritating way of busily shouldering every slightly closed door WIDE open), followed by the boy, or vice versa, who are both drawn directly to the bathtub to see what toy treats await them there. Within seconds comes the husband, with baby in his arms, continuing a previous conversation. Sigh.

It makes one really appreciate the preciousness of a little alone time. Basically, the only time I usually get that is after all sweet boys are tucked all snug in their beds...at, oh, say...11:45 PM after the wee-est one finally goes down for good (as in, lays down at 10:20, and wakes up about 3 times before settling down). I have a very hard time putting my own self to bed at that point - free time is like a tall glass of cold ice tea for a very thirsty woman - I want to gulp it down, savoring every last drop.

So then I go to bed WAAAY later than I should...and the past several nights Israel has been waking up about 6 times a night, from either congestion, being too hot, or being too cold. Correct one and you cause another. Correct the chronic congestion with a warm steam vaporizer, and all of a sudden you have sodden pillows, dripping blankets, and mold growing in the corner. Nice. You can't win, is what I am saying.

In other, less crabby news, here is the little insomniac himself. Don't you just want to give him a squeeze and a kiss?

Happy Helpers

Gabe "helping" in the kitchen. He buzzes all over the kitchen with that chair. Just pushes it to where he "needs" it, and up he goes. He likes to help wash dishes, help cook, help push the Start button on the microwave, help eat chocolate chips...that sort of thing.


















Tim carrying Little Sweetheart around in a carrier. Isn't he adorable in that carrier? He looks like such a cuddly little munchkin. Which he really is. He still has his fussy moments sometimes, but overall, he is a very happy baby - very quick to smile when you look at him. He has been very observant recently. I have noticed when I put a blanket over him in the bouncer his eyes will really examine the blanket, and he seemed to be using his fists to sort of check it out. I thought that was interesting - it seemed like he was still young for that, but maybe not.

My 4 hours of work went well. Everybody survived very well at home. I'm doing 8 hours tommorrow.

Later.....

Happy Cup

This Sunday in my Sunday School class, our teacher had us pass around a styrofoam cup and indicate on it how full our "cup" was. Mine was actually the fullest in the class - a little over half full. The teacher was surprised, she said she figured I would be "running on empty" with our life being as chaotic as it has recently, but actually, I'm happy! I enjoy my babies, and I enjoy being home. Life is admittedly stressful, but it is a happy stress. Tim said he agreed. He rated his cup at 85% full.

One of the things that makes me feel slightly down, though, is the fact that I have to go back to work sometime this week.

The other night I dreamed that both sides of our families came to visit, and I fed Israel and then laid him down for a nap, and then we all went out to eat at some nonexistent restaurant in our neighborhood, leaving Israel sleeping at home, alone. At the restaurant, I got caught up in conversation and lost track of the time, and all of a sudden I realized that I had been gone for 3 hours, and had never gone back to get Israel, who had been in the house alone. Knowing that he often only naps about 45 minutes at a time during the day, I became frantic in my dream, imagining him waking up and crying and no one being there to pick him up, and escalating into screaming, and nobody still being there. I rushed out of the restaurant and started running across lawns and streets, trying to get back to the house, only to be stopped by fences or other things in my path, until I finally got home to find out that everyone else had gotten there before me. Mom was carrying Israel around, and I searched his face so anxiously for traces of hysterical tears, thinking that it was just so unlikely that he had remained sleeping the entire time we had been gone, but his face had none of that tell-tale puffiness that follows his crying rants, and Mom said that he seemed fine. I could see he seemed alright, but still there was this pit of dread in my stomach that he might have woken up and cried and cried and cried, with no one to comfort him.

This dream contains the basic core of my anxiety of leaving him - fear of him crying and crying and crying and wanting his mommy, wanting to nurse for comfort, and I'm not there; feeling emotionally abandoned. I know that in reality this is not going to happen, since he has a very capable and loving daddy, but I can't help fearing it anyways.

I have see-sawed back and forth on how I feel about going back to work this time; with Gabe, I didn't have to go back until he was about 5 months old, and so I felt ready. And having done it once, it generally doesn't hold the same anxiety for me as it did the first time. I learned, with Gabe, that he would be fine, that he wouldn't cry the whole time I was gone, and most importantly to me - I would still fill the "mommy" role.

I have actually missed aspects of my job from the beginning of maternity leave. I love being a nurse. I love the challenges of time management, efficiency, prioritizing, and problem-solving. I love to have bunch of figurative balls in the air that I am stragetically juggling. On the other hand, I like being the one at home all the time with my kids. I like having more time to get my house in order, which is a challenging thing for me. However, reality is that my husband is a full-time student for another 5 months.

With Israel being physically bigger than Gabriel ever was at that age, he seems more sturdy and not so fragile as Gabe did, and that is another thing that makes it easier. But one thing that makes it harder is the fact that he is much "needier" than Gabriel ever was, and that he likes to nurse for comfort, and if I'm not there - then what?

It has helped for me to leave for an hour or two over the last week, leaving Tim here alone with both munchkins, and see that they are fine, even with an occasional hysteria from Israel. The good thing is that he drinks fine from a bottle, and calms with both that or a pacifier. After one or two successful 4 to 8 hour absences, I think I will have a lot of reassurance about leaving my baby. I just don't want my child to feel alone. The truth is that Tim will probably feel much more alone than the baby ever does! :) Even though I'm only working part-time, some of those 12 hour days will feel pret-ty loooonnng at home....

Who, ME??!!

Today for lunch, I was making a recipe that had chicken, rice, yogurt, paprika, and tumeric. I had made the rice, added the tumeric and paprika to the yogurt, when Israel started fussing and needed to be fed. I pushed the rice pan back, so Gabriel couldn’t get it, and left Gabriel happily playing in the silverware drawer. When I was nursing Israel, I noticed that the kitchen was very, very quiet, with the exception of a few highly suspicious noises that drifted out. I decided not to worry about it, since usually he was fine, but after laying Israel down to sleep, I hustled out to the kitchen to see what I could see. Gabriel had pushed a chair up to the counter where I was working, had taken my paprika and tumeric containers and liberally spiced the rice, then took a nice helping of yogurt and added it to my paprika jar. So basically my recipe contained now approximately 6 times the amount of spices called for. He looked up at me with a slightly guilty smile and said “Gabw’l’s eyes?”, and pointed to them. “Gabw’l’s eyebrows!” My child, the diversionary genius.

I went ahead and made the chicken. We shall see how it tastes…

Growing Boy

I think Israel is having a growth spurt. He seems to have been eating more, and he took a 4 hour nap today! I actually woke him up, because I wanted him to also sleep tonight! He is also having a drool spurt. Man, can that kid drool.

He is more alert than he used to be - he really looks at things. Yesterday he sort of fussed until I placed him so he could examine his surroundings, and he immediately quieted and checked things out, his little head bobbing around, his eyes alert and focused. He looks at pictures in books, too, when we show him them. He seems to enjoy it.

For a week or so, he has been giggling/laughing, too, when we play with him - tickling or peek-a-boo. He is such a sweetie-pie. He has been happier recently for the most part. It seems like his fussiness comes from gas when he is fussy. Or if he wants to go to sleep or eat or wants to be held. He gets his needy little fuss on in those cases. :) It's sort of cute. When he is getting ready to eat he does this little "nenhhh-nenhh-nenhh" bleat. "Need, Mommy, need."

Time to go drink some chamomille tea and eat some Twix! Good night, dears!

Israel, age almost 3 months.














Huggin' buddies.

Below: Gabe with his BELOVED football, preparing to go "ow-side"



















Gabe peeling paint off of the basement door. I thought it was kind of a cool picture.

So that's life around here. Post-Christmas.

Speaking of post-Christmas, I seem to have left my lull-Israel-to-sleep abilities at each place we visited over Christmas. Before we left, he would fall asleep while I nursed him or when Tim held him. When I went to VA, he would fall asleep with either the pacifier or breastfeeding. When I went to IN, I had to add lots of calf-muscle-straining-bouncing to the pacifier, and then when I got home, I really felt disoriented as to the appropriate means. Something about changing surroundings keeps throwing me off. I had to reorient at each location. Since we've been home, he will mostly only fall asleep in the bouncer. And late! Like, 11 or 11:30. Just what I want to stay up doing, tending a fusser. But a sweetheart fusser.

Today, he had a caffeinated appearance about him all day. Arms whirling out to the side, eyes wide open, quick to smile, but his smiles wavered on the edge of fussy, and he was equally quick to cry. Just sort of agitated. So he didn't nap the best and then fell asleep at 10 PM in the bouncer. (Insert Hallelujah Chorus here.)

In other news, I am currently in molting season. The infamous post-pregnancy hair loss. A gentle breeze blows and 43 hairs waft off my head. The next time you see me, I will probably have 7 hairs left. You can braid them for me if you wish. That leaves me one for bangs...

The Busily Quivering Arrows in my Quiver

If children are the arrows in my quiver, mine make my quiver tired and want to sit down for a while.

So here is the never-ending refrain around this house:

Gabriel, be careful!! You are going to fall and hurt yourself!! Gabriel, you are going to hurt the baby! Gabriel, the baby is not a drum! Gabriel, stop that! Gabriel, no more running. Ok, no more football right now, it's time to calm down. Oh, Gabe...you can not kiss the baby, you are sick - Gabe!! You can't stand over the baby and cough directly into his face, either, although you have no concept of this... (bury face in hands and sigh deeply)

Seriously. The combination of these two wear you OUT!!! Gabe is a dear boy and a sweetheart, but he needs some good active playtime outside, and the way Tim and my schedules have been crossing, this simply is not happening enough. And he loves his baby brother. This morning, he was hovering over Israel who was in the bouncer and saying "Awww baby! I love you baby! Gabriel give the baby kisses!" It's very sweet, but the problem is that his current kisses are excessively germ-filled. Then this evening, when Israel was again in his bouncer outside the bathroom door as I scrubbed the floor (I'm getting stuff done around here, FINALLY!!!), Gabe had to hustle off to get his new handy-dandy tool box from Grandma and Granddaddy Beery that has all sorts of cool little boy tools, and bring it back so that he could use his tools to drum on the bouncer and on his box and of course, on the baby.... Not hard, but the problem is that he can get really worked up with all his "deet-deet-deet"-ing and his "dot-dot-dot"-ing and his "BISH!!!" (that is the cymbal, for anyone who has not witnessed this activity), so he must be watched very carefully.

At the end of the day, I seriously feel like I have run a marathon and can just collapse in a chair and huff and puff once they are FINALLY in bed. And I only have TWO CHILDREN. TWO.

I guess I better go rest up for tommorrow. The other night Tim said "Hey Carrie! You want to go to Barnes and Noble and browse slowly through the books and take our time and get coffee? Or do you want to go to Sam's Club not because we need to, but just to look around and eat samples? Or do you want to go out to eat and have a nice long relaxing dinner?" And we both chortled merrily (with a faint twinge of wistfulness) at the lucridity of that question and the sheer impossibility of ANYTHING REMOTELY like that happening anytime soon. Kids certainly change things. For the better, overall, but sometimes you just gotta miss relaxing. And just think. Lord willing, there could be another one coming along in a few months. Just kidding. :) Give me a few hundred months or so. And then there will be three. Heavy silence. Let us all pray.

Gabe

I love this picture. It is pure, undiluted, 100% Gabe.

Randomnesses

1. Israel has the cutest little fattest little pudgiest little squeezy sausage feet with his little fat toes splayed out the end, and the thing I find the most hilarious is that they already smell like feet. I like to kiss them, feet smelling and all.

2. Gabriel is Danger Child. I tell you what, the way that boy hurls himself around, I pray that he has double-duty guardian angels on high alert. Today I almost had a heart attack, because I was changing Israel on our bed, and Gabe climbed up and had both feet on the footboard, and was just swaying in the air when I launched myself through the air and pulled him towards the bed. Today at church, he decided he wanted to get into the "baptismal trough" :) (the cattle watering thing that we use for baptisms) and simply dove in over the side onto the hard ground. Someone saw him and rushed over thinking he would be hurt, but up he bounces like a spring and off he runs. He also is inadvertently dangerous to Israel, because he loves to be next to him, but will take flying leaps that can land much too close for comfort, or decide to go into a happy kicking frenzy on the couch while I'm feeding Israel.

3. Israel is now in 6-9 month clothes. At 2 1/2 months of age. How funny is that. I am having to go and buy more 6-9 month winter clothes for him, because when Gabe was in 6-9 month clothes, it was summer. He has lost most of his baby hair, except for a tidy little mullet/rat-tail in the back. Kentucky born, and Kentucky grown, that's how we like to keep 'em.

4. Today was my 29th birthday. To celebrate, I had Walmart Teriyaki Stirfry Chicken for lunch. From a bag. It was...er...tasty? For supper I cleaned some random items out of the freezer, and had Chicken Cordon Bleu from the microwave. Life is on the up and up, as you can tell. Tim gave me extra breaks by holding the baby while I stared at Journeys shoes on the computer. 29 is apparently the year of Boredemness. Ah well. I enjoyed it.

5. Gabriel has this nice little cold he obtained over Christmas, that he apparently generously shared with his cousin Tyler. He has this delectable phlegmy cough that at times makes him gag and then vomit. It's not that it is that bad of a cold, but rather that we have a gaggy child. He seems rather intrigued with the reality of vomiting, and we have to keep hastily fetching his hand out of his mouth where he seems to want to help along the process. Our lunch the other day was seasoned with the sight of watching Gabe cough, retch, and then vomit into the fresh plate of lunch in front of him. Made one look rather dubiously at one's own fresh plate of lunch.

6. Gabe seemed to hit another verbal peak over Christmas. He often seems to improve verbally after spending time with family, for some reason. Today he was encouraging the baby as I was getting ready for church - "Good job, baby!! Good job!" He also enjoys singing "Jesus Loves Me", and other songs he hears. He is saying so many words right now - it's just fun to hear how his brain works. Tonight Tim was praying with Gabriel and went through "And God bless Mommy and God bless Daddy and God bless Gabriel and God bless Israel!" Pause. Gabriel says "Ennnhh - God. Again! God. Again!" So Tim continues, "And God bless Aunt Melody, and God bless Tyler...." on down the family tree. When he gets to the end, there is a pause, and Gabriel says "And God bless Chloe!" :) Good ole Chloe, the unforgotten Jack Russell Terrier, Beloved of Gabriel, appropriate ending to blessings.

Scenes of Christmas Past

Christmas is over, and we made it in one piece!! We left VA on Dec. 22 and traveled to IN to spend time with Tim's family. We had a great time there, and came home on Jan. 1. The boys actually did great traveling, and we learned a little trick of leaving early in the morning. I am already SORELY missing both families and all of their baby help they gave. Thank all of you so much for all of your help - you were such a huge blessing! Here are some pictures from VA and IN....


















Pippin the Christmas Elf














A result of a napless day is falling asleep in the chair while Granddaddy rocks.

Time with the "fam". :) (Blogger is being dumb and not letting me comment between pictures...)

Over the River and Through the Woods

To Grandma's house we go. Or, went, rather. I must say that our trip to VA was EXCELLENT. A wonderful surprise, that. We planned to leave on the evening of the 14th, and drive about 3 1/2 hours, stop to sleep, and drive another 3 1/2 hours in the morning, BUT...after a full day of packing - it sounds ridiculous, but it's true - it seriously took until 6 PM to get ready to leave - with the minivan all packed up and ready to go, we exhaustedly decided to wait until the morning. We got up at about 4:30 AM and got to VA at 12:30 PM, and both kids did so great. Israel slept most of the way, with cheeks bouncing gently, and Gabe slept some and watched his DVD player. It was accomplished with only a minimum of stress, thanks to answered prayers and God's sheer compassion on our busy little stressed out family.

Gabe immediately understood where we were going, as Tim carried him outside and told him we were going to Grandma's house. "Gamma's. house?", he said. "Emmy's. house?", he said. "Smokey's. house? ( :) ) See. Gandaddy?"

Since arriving at Gamma's and Gandaddy's beloved house, Sweet Child has hardly been able to sleep. I believe he has napped perhaps 1 or 2 times in about 5 days. He has so many plans. There are slides to climb up and go down on his belly (he can do this by himself), there are stairs to climb (he drops to his belly halfway down the hall and scoots backwards to go down backwards), there are Chloe's to swat at ("Gabriel, do not hit Chloe!"), there are Moxies (Mom and Dad's cat) to chase ("Gabe, leave the cat alone!"), Emmie's to hug; there are 'Gandaddy's' to help out in the shop, there are golf carts to ride, and porches to play on, and toyboxes to raid, and pantries to loot. The list simply goes on and on. Thankfully, he does a little better than he used to when he missed his nap. He tears around happily, for the most part, with pink circles under his eyes. He will be sad to leave.

And so will we. When normal life with two babies is comparable to swimming madly to keep your head above water, life with two extra people to help out is a steady, yet mostly refreshing swim with intermittent breaks to catch your breath and maybe get a bit of a tan. Once again, I do believe these Dawdy Hause people have something goin' there.

Israel has been doing pretty good himself. Last night, he slept from about 9:30 PM until about 6:10 AM. Wow. To the sixteenth degree. You must understand that Gabriel never slept longer than 4 hours until he was about 18 months. This seems a sheer miracle of God's gracious compassion. And. My beloved mother has convinced Fussy Child to take a pacifier. Unused baby carrier: $95. Ben-Gay and heating pads for sore, aching back and arm muscles to tote child around to keep him from crying: $20. (I don't actually use Ben-Gay, but I'm just making a point, here, people.) Life chained to a couch to feed baby 47 times a day to keep him happy: $56,789 in mental stress and things undone. Baby taking a pacifier and going to sleep: Priceless. Thank you, my mama.

In other random news, I have: completed all my Christmas shopping in two days, wrapped 21 presents, had one hugely enjoyable Mary Kay party (I put my aunts and cousins to good use and practiced on them,and they were so nice and cooperative. :) ), stayed up until ridiculous hours reading just because I can, and scored some Croc's for my impending birthday. This is very exciting. (Croc's, not birthday. Birthday signals one measly little year away from 30. How in the world did that happen?)

In child news, tonight Israel started staring at his little stuffed animals hanging on his carseat. To most people, this will be an intensely boring news item, but to me it is noteworthy. Also, at the beginning of last week, we went to the doctor, and he was 15 pounds and 24 inches long. He continues to enjoy riding on my shoulder, and tolerates stretches in his bouncer. Everyone loves his cooing and smiling sessions. Baths make him happy. In Gabriel news, we have figured out a way to win the toothbrush battle. He stands at a stool at the sink and brushes his teeth with the help of his mama. We had finally had ENOUGH of toothbrush battles, and after a short learning curve, he is now a good boy toothbrusher.

And now I'm done. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!

Scenes from a Busy Week

Sick boys. (Note to the germ conscious - Israel is not lying next to a nasty tissue. That is an Israel-drool tissue. Just for the record.)






















Hasn't he changed so much! He is getting so big! By the way, for a truly delightful experience, kiss the area right where his cheek and neck meet his chest and shoulder. It is all softness and sweetness.

Below: Gabe reads himself a bedtime story.














Tim often holds Israel to sleep at night.





















Chocolate smeared tub boy.

So that's us for the week.

Tidbits:
1. Israel has been smiling and cooing responsively a lot this week. He is 7 weeks old this week.
2. Israel rolled from his side to his stomach at 6 weeks. I had laid him on his side facing one way and heard a lot of grunting, and when I checked on him he was on his stomach facing the other way, with both hands free. I was very surprised! :)
3. Gabe keeps saying more and more new words, and talks in short sentences. He always refers to himself in the third person. "Gab'wl get choc'late? Gab'wl take bath?" The other day I saw him laying on the rug, with a little taxi car in his one hand running it repeatedly up to his nose and saying "Car get nose. Car get nose. Car get nose. Car get nose. Car ouchie nose. Car ouchie nose. Car ouchie nose. Car ouchie nose." :) That's how he talks. He repeats everything about 7 times. He is big on the ouchie concept. "Gab'wl ouchie? Momma ouchie? Co'e (Chloe) ouchie? Schoolbus ouchie?" Ever since he got those vaccinations the other week, he is convinced that pants are ouchie.
4. Gabe does this cute little thing when he's asking for something that he wants that he's not sure we're going to let him have. He raises his eyebrows and makes his eyes big and sort of thrusts his head forward and hunches his shoulders, and then asks his question really hopefully. It makes you smile.

Colds

We are a motley bunch of aching, sneezing, snuffling, coughing, bleary-eyed Millers today. I sound like a Sudafed commercial. The cold season has struck, and we are flattened under the wheels. While the boys were sleeping today, I lay in bed with eyes half-closed, not sleeping, but simply aching more comfortably. Hopefully we can get this out of the way so as to experience Christmas more comfortably.

So today I took (I think) my first solo journey with both of the kiddos. Saturday night after a very stressful day and week of Momma-hold-me-at-all-times-or-I'll-cry, I decided that I was going to pay the bucks to find an infant carrier that works, and doesn't hurt my back. So I researched with utmost intent, and found a store in Lexington that carried just what I was looking for. Tim is swimming madly in schoolwork (which also made last week that much more stressful - the other pair of hands in the house were frantically typing on the computer keys), so he has been at school all day. So. It took us one hour to get ready, and that included Israel crying as I washed my face, Israel crying as I got dressed, Israel crying as I got Gabriel dressed, Israel nursing madly to comfort himself, Israel crying as I tried to find the phone number for the store, Israel stopping crying as I held him, and Israel wailing his way halfway down the road. He wailed away in the store, too, with several nursing madly sessions, and the lady there nodded sympathetically when I asked if she could tell why I was desperate for something that worked. Well. So then he slept all the rest of the afternoon after I had purchased my 2 snazzy carriers, and how did he like them when he woke up? Screamed bloody murder. And I do mean bloody murder. Hmm.

So, to comfort myself at the end of a LONG HARD DAY, I made myself TWO cups of rebel mint tea. And they were very. very. tasty. I also made myself some chocolate chip cookies, some cinnamon rolls, some triscuits with spreadable cheese, and some mixed nuts, and some cheesy garlic bread. Belch.

New Skills

I have been honing some new skills over the past 7 weeks. These include:

1. Standing while eating while bouncing a fussy baby. (Somewhat similar to the old skill of patting your head while rubbing your stomach.)
2. Picking up a wide variety of items from the floor with my toes. The other day while holding Israel I picked up about 20 Tupperware lids off the kitchen floor after Gabe had whirled through with the use of my mighty piggies. Those babies can get things DONE around here!
3. Squatting repeatedly throughout the day to pick up items off the floor while balancing a 15 pound heavy weight champion against your shoulder. Good for the glutes.
4. Doing a multitude of activities one-armed. (ie. lifting Gabe in/out of crib while holding Israel, typing (slowly) with a finger while nursing Israel, putting laundry in the wash while holding Israel)

I gots mad skills, bro.

One thing I'm still trying to perfect is the skill of NOT MAKING PLANS. This is one of the hardest things for me to learn about having two small children. For instance, one would think, that when Baby 1 is asleep by 9 PM, and sleepy-eyed Baby 2 is in bed by 9:45 PM, one would have nice evening of whatever one wants to do stretching out ahead of them in long luxurious minutes. NOT SO. One should realize that approximately 30 seconds before placing Baby 2 in his crib, Baby 1 will wake up, and after having a little snack, will gaze up at you with bright little awake eyes. No sleep for him. So, you trudge back out with Baby 2 for the lengthy process of getting him back to sleep. Then, when Baby 2 enters dreamland, you realize that Baby 1 is still awake, and cranky talk is coming from his crib. It is now 10:45 PM. Precious evening is flying by. At 11:30 you give up and get Baby 1 out of his crib and sit him in front of the magically sleep-inducing Woo Woo Kie Kie Movie (otherwise known as Doggie Kitty Movie, otherwise known as Milo and Otis). (Note to the frowning concerned: I do not normally lull my child to sleep with television. But sometimes you just gotta do what works. He is sick and a little off his rocker.) Seriously. This has been one of the more frustrating aspects of having babies. Time to do your own thing is so scarce, and you sort of make plans for it, and then life happens. They just don't schedule their lives around my plans. :) Yet I keep forgetting this, for some reason...

Carrie's New Business

Well. So my news is that I am now a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant, and I am actually very excited about it. I had someone come to do a facial on me, and I absolutely loved the products she used, and since I wanted to earn some extra income, I decided to sell it too! So, if anybody is interested, they can see my website at: www.marykay.com/CarrieEMiller. I'm still learning on the makeup side, but I LOVE the skin care products - I could see a difference in my skin immediately. If you are around me at any time and would like a facial, I would absolutely love to treat you to one.

Sincerely,
Business Lady

Industriousness

Gabriel is a very industrious little boy. He is busy from the time he gets up to the time he goes down protesting, with occasional blankie and paci' breaks in between. This morning, when I went in to lay Israel down, I found Gabriel in our room at the foot of the bed, where he had pulled mascara out of my drawer, taken the wand out, and painted himself and the foot of the bed. So, I took him out to the kitchen with me, where I was doing some dishes. I hear these little repetative thunking sounds and don't think much of it, until I turn to see him pulling grapes off the stem that I had on the table, and throwing them, grape by grape onto the floor. There were about 20 grapes on the floor by that point. Sigh. So I had him "help" me empty the dishwasher, which he likes to do, and he grabbed a handful of silverware and climbed up on a chair to put it into the silverware drawer...and then moved on to pulling any silverware that caught his eye out to place onto the countertop. That buddy.














The other night I saw his Tonka truck "parked" in the bathroom after he had careened in on full speed, driving my Tupperware lids around. I saw it after he had went to bed, while the house was peacefully quiet, and the little blond boy slept quietly in the next room, and it was such a cute reminder of him and his sweet little energetic self that I had to smile. So I took a picture. This is life for us right now. Full of busy-ness and trucks waiting for the morning and sweet sleeping boys.

Meditations of a Bored Breastfeeder

(Yawn.) Looks like the kid is almost asleep. (Gazing around the room) Wish I could watch TV, but the remote is over on top of the entertainment center. Huh. I guess I could lug both of us over there, but it sure sounds like a lot of work. (Pause) Kind of makes you wish you had the ability to levitate things by thinking at them hard enough. (Staring hard enough to make eyes cross) I wonder why, with all the cool things in the human body, God couldn’t have stuck that little ability in there too. (Reflection) I guess we’d all be lazy and really fat, if we never had to move to get anything done. Sure would be easy to clean the house, though. Wow, this kid eats a lot. (Staring bemusedly down at said kid) I wonder if it is healthy to feed him ALL THE TIME like he demands. (Lift hand to gently poke one plush cheek) Sure is cute. (Contortion to kiss said cheek. Exertive sigh.) I wonder if God designed the body to produce oxytocin during breastfeeding to relax you for the purpose that you don’t get antsy and quit feeding your kid before he’s done. (Yawn.) Makes me tired. (Sleepy blink.) I wish I had something to do, but I seem to lack the motivation to get it. I wonder if other moms get sort of bored like me if when you forgot to have something on hand before you sit down…but they probably don’t end up thinking about levitation. I’m probably just weird. Think I’m going to go lay this kid down now…

Hmmm.

Hmmm. So. For my both-babies-sleeping-me-time today, I could:

1. Clean the house.
2. Wash the dishes.
3. Do laundry.
4. Decorate for Christmas.
5. Update waaaaayyyyy behind picture albums.
6. Have devotions.
7. Bring down 3-6 month clothes from attic and bring in new storage boxes still out in mini-van and get baby clothes switched out.
8. Clean out mini-van.
9. Plan a budget for the next two months.
10. Relax.

Hmm. My life is FULL of exciting choices.

Let me ask. Where, in fact, does the day go? It is amazing how little I can get accomplished in my waking hours besides holding the baby and feeding my family. I do a little cleaning, and by the end of day it's hard to see. It possibly has something to do with the following:

1. One pile of tupperware lids on the bathroom floor.
2. One unrolled toilet paper pile on the bathroom floor.
3. One shelf load of books "helpfully" emptied off the bookshelf to "read".















4. Two piles of cushions excitedly pulled off the the couch and chair to throw oneself on.
5. One drawer of said tupperware lids emptied over the kitchen floor while mom works.
6. Partial contents of toybox scattered over living room floor.

These facts don't help anything.

Here's another thing I am noticing. Gabe likes to do "bad" things (ie. open the X-box and play with the tray) while I am feeding Israel and am rather hindered. "No's" translate into bemused gazes during disobedience. Which translates into decisions - do I address this disobedience or wake my almost sleeping baby? So several times this morning, I had one temporarily room-bound screamer, whilst his baby brother is screaming wherever he was temporarily placed. A fine morning it was.

Get a Grip

Israel gets a grip. He loves to grip. It is pretty cute. When I'm feeding him he will grab my shirt and just pull himself in. We actually have been letting him sleep on his stomach, since he has excellent neck control, and he sleeps so much better, and I think a part of that is because he can hug into the mattress.














Here is Mommy and Gabriel in a sea of books. Some of Gabriel's favorite books right now are "No, David!", a few books by Kim Lewis that have adorable pictures and talk about tractors and chickens (a Christmas present from Grandma Carol), Construction Trucks (from Grandma Edith) - these Grandmas seem to hit it right on the money! I sound like quite an expert talking about payloaders, skidsteers, giant excavators, and the like. :)

So here is an Israel update. Israel is losing his black hair and getting medium brown hair in. I think his eyes might stay the dark blue that they are. He weighs approximately 57 pounds, at least, so says my arms and back. Tim and I are achy by the end of the day from carting him around. His rate of weight gain has exceeded my muscle gain. :) He is generally waking once a night. I will feed him around 10 PM, and then around 2:30 AM or so, and then about 7-ish in the morning. Unfortunately, he likes to remain awake at that 7 AM one, and it is with much yawning and bleariness that I comply. The problem here is that Israel's mommy likes to cram in some me-time after all the wee ones have settled down for the night, and then goes to bed late. He still also likes to be held about 99.8% of the time he is awake, and although we utilize the $5 Baby Bjorn that Mom found for us (is she a good Mennonite thrifty shopper or what?! $5!!!), sometimes it just doesn't cut it. Yesterday he fussed all day long, and sometimes the only thing that makes him quiet is to eat. Again. Seriously.

I just started reading a book called 1-2-3 Magic - Effective Discipline for Children 2-12, and I really like it. It talks about the misconception that a lot of parents have that if they can get their child to understand why they are telling them to do something, they will happily comply, when that it not the way kids are. Kids are not small reasonable adults. So the counting has started today. We shall see how this goes. You are supposed to count to three for bad behavior, leaving several seconds in between, and once they reach three, if they haven't stopped, they go to their room for one minute per year of age. You do not say anything between counts - no "That's one, you had better listen or you are going to your room! Do you hear me?" And then after they come back, you don't talk about what they did, you don't say "Are you going to be a good boy now?" You just let them out and count again if they need it. Apparently it is pretty effective. The thing Gabe mostly needs more help with not stopping bad behavior - he usually listens if we are firm - but starting things, like coming when you call. This book talks about that, too.

Off to make lunch now. Toodles.

Life at the Miller Household

Gabe the Munchkin vigorously downing a tasty bowl of sketti'.















He's smiling! :)



















Round little squeezie-legs man.



















Boys on the bed.



















Oh, look. My child is the HUGEST EVER. 5 1/2 weeks old is he, and straining at the seams of his 3 month outfits.














Big eyes for a big boy. I love these big-eyed whirly-armed moods he gets into...

One of those days

It has been one of those days. Everything has been "off". The baby has been nonstop fussy/awake/holdme...and so the house remains a mess, which is stressful in and of itself. Poor Gabe had vaccinations yesterday, and both of his little thighs are swollen and very sore. He was so sore last night that you could hardly touch his leg without him crying out. We have felt so bad for him. He got his DPT shot in that leg. So he has been stiff-legging it around the house. He got good and babied last night to help make things better - and he actually needed it. He had a low-grade fever, but none today.

I tell you what. That kid is a cutie-pie. I would have a picture of him on, too, but apparently I am holding Israel ALL OF THE TIME and therefore can't take pictures of my other beloved child. He was looking at a book of farm animals with Tim tonight and talking about everything he saw, preceding every description with a "see a ___". See a knee. See a sunshine. See a bu'fwy (butterfly). See a piggie. With that little voice and his little blue hood over his head, I just couldn't help but want to just squeeze him.

But unfortunately, there could be no squeezing, due to the Mr. Cheeks I was holding. I fed Mr. Cheeks for about 68 years this evening TRYING VAINLY to get him to go to sleep...and his eyes just popped right open when I laid him down. Ah, man. There's something about how you have everything all planned that you are going to be doing when the baby goes to sleep, and then when the baby WON'T go to sleep...somehow it makes everything doubly frustrating. And then he would fall asleep with his pacifier and it would keep falling out and waking him up... (Raise hand and smack forehead in despair.)

This morning, however, when I had Israel up to my shoulder to burp him, my heart did a big smile at the soft little snuffly bundle tucked into the crook of my neck. And when he slept from 7-9 AM, when he often is bright-eyed and flailing, it smiled some more. :) Now, wouldn't it be nice if Israel would just sleep all night. That way I could start with a smile and end with a snore. That's the way to do it.

Etc.

I love having my babies, and think they are TOTALLY worth all of the time, energy and effort, but every once in a while, I miss some freedoms. I was hurtling (safely) home from the mall the other night with a 4 week infant in the backseat screaming that "I-am-abandoned-and-despairing-of-life" cry that is designed to make you drop everything and attend to the poor child, and cast a wistful glance at the Panera bread cafe speeding past my dusty minivan window. I had a nostalgic "missing" of the days when one would have a leisurely shopping, clothes-trying-on experience with friends, and then stop to get something to eat, and linger over your food, and talk and laugh. No rush. Ain't happenin' these days with this one. Everything is more hurry-hurry-ain't-no-WAY-we're-stopping-somewhere-to-eat!!! I went to a baby shower the other night that Israel wailed his way through, and had a Mary Kay thingie 2 nights later during which he did the same thing. He does not particularly like Mommy to have a life, thanks. :) I'm going somewhere again tonight, without Tim and Gabriel...we shall see how things go...(spoken in ominous tones)

I also miss having days where I could stay in bed all day if I wanted and read. Some of these grey, cloudy days we have had recently, combined with my exhaustion and desire to simply mindlessly vegetate have brought this desire to the forefront of late. My husband informs me that this is not normal. On one of those grey days recently, I opened a Dove's candy chocolate wrapper that said "This is one of those bubble-bath days" or something like that, and everything within me yearned for such a day...in a quiet house...with a thick, absorbing book...and no duties to perform... Oh well. I'd rather have the cushiest cheeks ever to kiss (Israel), and the softest belly ever to rub (Gabe). But you hear what I'm saying.

Speaking of having a life (refer to first paragraph), my calendar is filling up quickly for these next several weeks. I'm so excited. I so do like to have a life! :) Tim complains about having lots of plans, but I just rub my hands together busily and plot away. Not working over the holidays has left lots of room open for fun things that I usually miss.

In a totally separate subject, I gotta say - I am feeling the weight of being a parent. It is a mantle of responsibility that really starts to reveal itself especially as Gabriel is getting older. How do we provide the most appropriate discipline? What is the most appropriate discipline? Who are we shaping our child to become? What is his view of God? What of God's character can he see in us? Where are we missing the mark? I SO LONG for my children to love our God with all their heart, souls, and minds...and I just want to get our parts right. And of course all parents miss the mark on all sorts of things...I just want God to give us wisdom on the things we can't afford to miss the mark on. Gabe truly is such a sponge. He talks about kites, for instance, and we have no clue how he knows about kites. The other night he asked for a "God story"...when we often tell Jesus stories, so he must understand that they are connected - and he is only two!

And finally, here's a bad mommy confession. Playing two-year-old games makes me want to flee. Tim and I were talking the other day about things that we like about taking care of Gabriel, after he left me to play a football throwing game with Gabe that he had been playing to go take a shower. I can play those games for a few minutes, and then I get so incredibly antsy and want to do all of the other things around me that need to be done. Like dust. Or clean the bathroom. :) I have to consciously stay the course on those games. Tim loves playing games with Gabriel, but not reading to him. I, on the other hand, do like to read to him, and do the "taking care of" bits, and the cuddling. (Candice, Gabriel loves that Thai Hide-and-Seek book. That is a 5 times over book. I like how the rooster says "Eeechy eeechy egg! Eeechy eechy egg!", and the dog says "Hrou! Hrou!".") Gabe asks for more cuddling now than he used to. He likes to go get his blankies and pacifier and comes pouting out with some sort of pretend injury that requires lots of cuddles. :) I guess Tim and I balance each other out.

One more thing: today we were putting Gabe down for his nap, and I see this sippy cup come flying out of his room. Tim had found a "old milk" cup and threw it out so that Gabe wouldn't try to drink it. Then I see Gabe in the doorway a little later, with his blanky, looking down the hall. He looks at me and smacks his leg with his hands and says "Daddy smack leg. Daddy smack leg" I asked Tim if Gabe had done something wrong, and he said that no, he hadn't but he must have seen Daddy do a no-no, because he remembered that Gabe had whacked his (Tim's) leg, and hadn't thought anything of it but that he was playing. Then Tim remembered that he had thrown Gabe's sippy-cup, which is a Gabriel-no-no. :) So Daddy was apparently chastised. :) Gabriel will often smack his own leg if he does something he knows is wrong, ie. hit the lampshade with his drumstick. What a kid.

Neck folds!!!

Israel is really growing these days – as you can well see. Last night at the mall (he’s been introduced to shopping! :)), someone asked me if “she” was about 3 months old. I replied that, no, “he” is 5 weeks old. He will definitely not be in his 0-3 month clothes much longer. They fit now, but will be getting tight soon. He is also starting to smile at me when I smile at him – such a rewarding experience, having your baby smile back! :) He also is holding his head up more.

Gabe continues to be fascinated with him. I have to basically peel him away. “Baby kisses? Baby hugs? Baby’s eyes! (jab) Baby’s hair! (poke) Hold baby? Gab’rl hold baby?” He is also preoccupied with the subject of how the baby is doing. When the baby is crying, he says “Baby cwyin’! Baby alwite? Baby alwite?”

“Baby is fine”, we say.

“Baby fine,” he repeats. “Baby fine.” When I went shopping with Israel the other day, he said “Mama shoppin’.” And then, with nodding certainty, “Baby fine.”

Pudge and Such

Wow. Is my kid pudgy or what? This is him from the other day, vegging out on his pillow.














Gabe has adopted my Strawberry Shortcake doll, and likes to drive his "baby" around the house.

One Month

Israel Caleb Miller is one month old today. I would post a picture, but Blogspot is being a dork. So, anyways, happy one month birthday, my dear son!!! We are so glad to have you around, and love to give you kisses!

Ahhhhhh...

Sigh of bliss. Sitting in a quiet house, with my chocolate and TIME. Both boys sleeping soundly. Ahhhh... Blessedness. :)

Here's some more nice things:
1. Israel is basically waking up only twice during the night, and the second time is when it is just starting to get light out, so it doesn't really count as night, even though it still feels that way to me. We feel MUCH more refreshed sleep-wise now.
2. Israel and Gabriel tend to (when things are going right), go down for a nap and bed at the same time. That is REALLY nice.
3. Israel is starting to be ok with being placed in various holding facilites (ie. car seat with pillow, or swing, or on the bed) for several minutes at a time without screaming bloody murder. This is very nice, and allows one to finish a cup of tea or other important things.
4. Israel is also taking a pacifier. Whooo-hooo!!! (Spoken by the Human Pacifier). My son was gaining approximately 2 chins per day from the "lets-use-mom-as-a-pacifier" theory.

*********

Having a little baby and a sugar/snack happy two year old sort of puts me on an involuntary diet, I think. I start to make myself some tea for breakfast, and the baby cries, and I get distracted, and my tea gets cold, and the baby won't let me sit him down, which nullifies the whole concept of breakfast for me (I want to sit peacefully and sip my tea and eat at leisure and read my book...this type of breakfast seems to not be in the cards these days.) and then I have to get something on for lunch. Or, I want to have a snack, and little Mite-Sized Tummy boy "wants" too - which means that he won't hardly eat the next meal. So I only have 3 cream cheese crackers (mmmm...) and several pretzels dipped in cheese instead of a lot. See. And Israel wakes up right on the dot of sitting down for every single meal - I do not understand this phenomenon. So I feed him while I'm eating, and that is just distracting, so I eat slower, and then I'm full with less food.

I have, however, managed to consume an astonishing amount of candy since Israel was born. Rationale: I can eat extra calories since I am breastfeeding!! :) Seriously. LOTS of candy. Mary Janes and Dove chocolates and Hershey's kisses and Almond Joys and etc. I think it helps that I can sneak candy past Gabe...

Apt Words and Tealessness

I found this article today on the Focus on the Family website, (during a glorious break while BOTH BOYS WERE SLEEPING AT ONCE!!! Praise the Lord hallelujah!!!) I thought somebody had just crawled inside my head. 'It seems like the crying, rocking, feeding, walking-the-floor insanity is going to last forever. “Baby Boot Camp” aptly describes life with a newborn. New moms are often flustered and bewildered during those early days with a baby. Besides having a body that’s getting back to normal, postpartum mothers must deal with fluctuating hormones, extreme fatigue and roller-coaster emotions. This wasn’t what you signed up for! When you bring your baby home from the hospital, however, the rigors of basic training begin.' Amen and amen. And amen. But the article informed me that it will not last. Once again, I say "Praise the Lord hallelujah".

On a separate, highly irritating note, I found out today that I cannot drink mint tea anymore, since it decreases milk in breastfeeding mothers. Now why is this the first I have heard of this? I have been guzzling mint tea right and left, like, 4 times a day. Especially because it seems like me drinking black tea makes Israel's stomach hurt. So now what I am I supposed to do? Drink water?! Man, life is hard. :)

The Truth of the Matter

So, how are things really? Weellllll....they're actually harder than I anticipated. :) How's that for a nice answer? In my memory, it seems like most people that I have talked to in the past have said that their second child was easier than their first. I may just not be remembering correctly, but I think that Israel is harder. He seems fussier than I remember Gabe being. Like, seriously, hours go by while I am holding him. He just simply likes to be held. If I set him down somewhere, he's ok for a few minutes, and then he starts to sputter and whimper and finally cries like his precious little heart is going to break, and I can't have that happening! :) And then it is a process getting him to sleep, and then he wakes up really easily - and we happen to have a chattering, banging two year old cohabiting the same house little Mr. Let's Wake Up is living in. Sigh. It's ok, though. But if Tim is having a busy day with school, I am about ready to have a cryfest at night - just because I am SO TIRED, and Israel seems SO NEEDY. I think a lot of my stress level really does come from sleep deprivation. Israel seems to have a hard time going back to sleep after he wakes up, and then he has an awake period around 6 AM, while I would absolutely LOVE to be dead asleep. I got 1/2 hour nap today before the phone rang and Israel woke up with a wet outfit. And I miss spending time with Gabe - here I thought I would have all this time to spend with him while I was home, but most of the time I spend trying to quiet his squalling little brother. Tonight, though, Gabe and I had some nice time on the chair in his room after he had went to bed, while I told him stories. He loves stories. They are the most boring stories ever, but they are about things he knows about. Chickens and pigs and grandparents and go-carts and airplanes. So we cuddled cheek to cheek and it was very nice.

But these are the things I like:
-Israel's velvety softest ever cheeks.
-Israel's warm little relaxed body when you are holding him and he is not currently crying. :)
-Gabriel's most precious ever little high, lisping voice. I just love his voice, although recently Tim is starting to be driven crazy from Gabe's continous conversations. :) He says that Gabe is his son, because he sure can talk. :)
-Gabe's ability to understand things and say new things.
-Israel's little "O" mouth that he makes when he is wide awake and watching the world. Or fan or lights, rather. :)
-Gabe's cutest ever little sturdy, plump little squeezable legs. They are ADORABLE!!!! I also love how Gabe's skin matches mine perfectly. I have more yellow-toned skin, and Tim is redder, and Gabe's skin is exactly like mine, and for some reason, I just love it!!
-Kissable neck folds, on both babies.
-Plump little squeezy cheeks, on both babies. I love to kiss my babies!!!

So if anyone wants to come and hold these babies, come on over. They are really precious. And if you look up and I'm not in the room anymore, I'll be in bed, sleeping, or perhaps on the rug in the hall....

SOMEBODY found Mom's lipstick in a drawer.

"Frustrating"

Let me describe for you the term “frustrating”. “Frustration” is what you feel when you have been holding your 2 week-old infant son for two hours, and he will not be consoled for longer than 5 minutes at a time. You have laid down with him several times, nursed him several times, burped him repeatedly (with no results), tried pacifier time and time again (which works until it falls out, and then there is a lot of screaming and he will not hardly take it again), tried bouncing, tried laying him down on his back, changing his diaper and outfit when it was wet, yada yada yadayadayada ad infinitum. Whenever you lay him down in his cradle, he wakes up from his semi-slumber and cries and cries, so you finally have to lay down again with him in the bed, which is something you are trying not to do, because you don’t want to start it as a pattern, but eventually all you care about is that he just go to sleep. “Frustration” is what you feel at this point. And “frustrated” tears are what you cry. And finally he is asleep. That, my dears, is called “a sigh of relief”.

Little sweetum's.

Late night tummy-ache session...