Update on Rachel

Early this morning they started rewarming Rachel. They had cooled her down to 86 degrees to help prevent any further brain damage, and had her on sedatives and drugs to paralyze her to prevent her from shivering and warming herself back up. They rewarmed her starting at about 2 AM, and then weaned her off her sedatives and paralysis medications, and she woke up. She was definitely responsive, and was trying to talk to Anthony. When he told her that she was in the hospital, that she was ok, that the kids were ok, she calmed down. She was able to move all of her limbs on command, and Anthony said she was almost trying to climb out of the bed.

This is AWESOME and AMAZING!!!! Simply to have her so responsive is so incredibly exciting.

She is still on the ventilator, because she aspirated vomit in the ambulance, which has caused some lung issues and caused pulmonary edema. So until that is resolved, she will stay on the ventilator. That is the main reason that she is still sedated. They resedated her after they woke her up, and then had to switch her to a stronger sedative, when she kept waking up. The one that she is one will definitely keep her "out" until morning, when they will do another "wake-up" trial. The doctors were very encouraged by her responsiveness.

Pray for resolution of the swelling in her lungs. Pray that they can wean her off the ventilator faster than expected. She has also started to run a fever, and they have started her on antibiotics, so pray for that. Rachel is also 8 weeks pregnant. Pray for the protection of the baby also. Some of the effects of her treatments are unknown on unborn children. Their other children are having a great time at their Grandmother's, so pray for strength for all the adults, especially Anthony, as he goes back and forth and deals with emotional and physical exhaustion.

God has shown a lot of provision already in this situation. Things like - a nurse that usually leaves early from their small group had decided to stay longer. Fifteen minutes later, Rachel collapsed. The small group they were in usually never has videos for the kids, but they had decided to put a video on for them, and all of the children had left the room about 2 minutes before Rachel passed out. The EMT's had a very fast response time. Things like that just make everyone so thankful.

There are a lot of people praying for her. Please don't stop. The doctor's have been surprised - let's have them shocked. :)

Praise God for the responsiveness they saw today. Praise God.

Please pray for my cousin's wife Rachel. She collapsed this evening and had stopped breathing and had no pulse. She is now being flown to UVA. She and her husband Anthony have 4 children, the oldest is 7 and the youngest is 2.

Dude.

Dude.

Phone rings. Showing scheduled for tommorrow, she says. Rejoice rejoice!!! First showing in months.

Whirlwind of cleaning as children whine. Every surface gleams; polished, dusted, vacuumed and Windexed. Holiday scents waft gently through the air from glowing candles. Christmas music plays softly. All stray children's items are tucked neatly out of sight in the basement. Lights burn everywhere, lighting up every corner of the house. Candles shine from the windows, warmth on a dreary day. This, my friends, is a house you want to come home to.

Phone rings. Lady's sick. Will reschedule.

Awww, stink.

Surfaces pulse eagerly, waiting to be smeared with dirty fingers. The floor beneath the couch begs for some fresh crumbs. The kitchen floor waits with anticipation for smudged banana and flour. The bathroom asks to be messed. Toys are ready to leap from their containers and spread themselves over the floor.

All right before the next showing.

Dude.

Sniff

Since I have had kids, I have turned into a sentimental sucker. I tear up with every On Star commercial I hear, with any life insurance commercial on TV, or even the occasional JC Penney's ad. The other week, the tears were welling as Oprah announced to Macon, Georgia that they were the surprise recipients of her "Favorites" show.

Sheesh.

It's just that there was the cheering and the snow falling from the ceiling and the Christmas music playing and all the Fed-Ex people running around...it was just a bit too much to handle. And the free refrigerator with the TV on it and the digital video camera....and the $350 Target giftcard....I'm sure you can understand. And the paninis and the sorbet...

Maybe you had to have been there.

Today in the WalMart parking lot as I was waiting for Gabe to finish smearing his A&W ice cream cone all over his jacket, there comes Josh Groban on the radio warbling "I'll Be Home For Christmas", and then they go and interject the song with voice clips of soldiers in Iraq giving messages to their families back home. People, now. And then there was the mom talking to her 4 year old daughter Madison about how she was going to miss seeing her open her presents at the Christmas tree and how much she loved her.... Oh dear.

I walked into WalMart with a pink nose and red eyes. Mommy Rudolph.

Snip snip snip

Yesterday I went and had about a foot or so of hair hacked off. Beam. It was great fun. I likey. I was SOOOO sick of my boring-boring-boring-drab-brown- baby-bangs-always-back-in-a- ponytail-holder hair. I actually hadn't intended to get quite that much off, but I am really happy with the results.
(if you are bored by hair talk, leave here)

She also put in highlights on top that were several shades lighter than my haircolor. She said with my haircolor, I don't need bleach; it will just make my hair orange. It looks so natural and just like what I wanted. Sigh of bliss.

I had a great time. It always makes me feel so relaxed to get my hair done. I got a nice scalp massage and everything. Second sigh of bliss.

This was the first place that I have ever been in Kentucky that actually did not do something absurd with my hair when they were done such as: (oh, yes) tease my hair with a brush (??!!), brush my hair out with with bristle brush (a no no for my hair), or blow dry it into some strange looking helmet. People, it's not that hard. Goodness. Scrunch a little stuff in there and let 'er go. I have just always let them "do their thing" out of sheer curiousity and bemusement. And now I'm moving. Sniff. Single tear.

Tim looked very startled when I walked in. Heh heh. He says that he misses the length, but he thinks it fits me. It does. Third sigh of bliss.

Anyone who tries to tell you good hair can't make your day is oh so deluded.

A Slimy Day

It's been one of those days where the entire house is awash in varied forms of snot, vomit, and drool. Yermmy.

I heard Israel wake up around 3:15 this morning, and when he kept fussing and coughing a little, I trudged across the hall to fill his bottle with milk. When I returned, I realized that he had peed through his diaper and onto his sheet. Stink. I wrestled him out of the two layers of clothes I had put him in to keep him warm, into a fresh 2 layers, and changed the sheet, as he lay drowsily drinking his milk.

Back to bed I zipped, where I lay awake, listening to him cough. And cough. And fuss some more. I already had the vaporizer running in their room, but after he kept coughing spasmodically, I thought maybe I should go add more salt. Back across the hall. It is now about 3:30. Israel is sitting up in his crib quietly. I peer blindly through the crib bars at him, and - is that? Oh no. Can it be - ? Crud. He is covered from head to toe in slimy milk curd vomit, which is also on his fresh sheet and his crib bumper.

I distastefully peel the nasty nasty nasty off of my child, who is suddenly wide awake and chipper with a Capital C. ChipPER. He squeals with delight and bounces around in his crib on his knees, crowing with joy. He vomits another time or two, this time on the bare mattress pad, just for the sheer fun of it. This is just painful. Gabe stirs over in his bed where he had previously been sleeping peacefully, and starts to moan and groan his woes. Oh. Joy.

Now it is 4:25 AM. Israel is playing cheerfully on the living room floor. Way more cheerfully than he plays during normal business hours. Gabriel is wadded up in his dinosaur blanket on the couch, refusing with screams of great sleepy disoriented distress to go lay in Mom and Dad's bed, because he is "scared". Tim is slouched painfully on the couch beside him. We are all having a GRAND time. This is one of those "worse" times, in the "for better or worse"'s.

Israel retires again for the night around 5. Tim goes down to sleep in the basement, and I tuck Gabe into bed with me. Where he lies quietly with eyes wide open, unable to sleep, tossing, turning, and digging his feet into my ribs. Every once in a while he starts to bellow about going back to his bed in Israel's room, which I do not want him to do, because let me tell you just how much I don't want Israel to wake up again. I distract him with stories, that trail off into silence mid-sentence, as I keep falling asleep. Gabe drifts off around 6:15 or so, and I gratefully follow suit.

Today Gabe extended the vomit fest. At least both times it was on hardwood or linoleum.
Both have been coughing a dry hacking cough all day. Israel is a virtual faucet of snot and drool.

Mmmmmmm.

The sweet, sweet days of childhood....

Grin.

Mommying

I've discovered a new, thankless, "mom task". It's called "sorting clothes". Ble-double-ech.

This wasn't such a huge task with one little munchkin, but with the two of them, with one going out of summer 2T-3T into winter 3T, and the other going from summer 9-18 month clothes into winter 18-2T, it makes for a lot of sorting. Add in various laundry baskets of clothes that had shown up from time to time ranging from Maternity to 5T, and you have quite a fun task on your hands. Me hatey.
This was my not-so-helpful-boys hogging up the baby drawer. This was in between the tasks of "hurling ourself headlong from c'os (clothes) box to c'os box" (Gabriel), and the little person (Israel) rapidly and repeatedly emptying any container of clothes that happened to be in front of his sweet little self. Sigh.

So I keep forgetting to write about Baby Israel. Who has been taking steps. (13 months) And saying words. "Nana" (Mama), "Dada", "C'o" (Chloe), "ou-sih" (outside). He LOVES light switches. And anything digital. And cordless phones. He loves to talk about lights. "Dah!" He loves to play with Big Brother.
This is Baby Israel's most favoritest view - Life From the Mommy Perch.
This is Mommy and Israel doing something blurry and important in front of the microwave.
This is Mommy and Israel reading the cookbook together and trying to figure out how long to cook those potatoes in the microwave.
"There's that Daddy who doesn't haul me around like this."

Last night after Mommy plowed her way through clothes, she turned her attentions to giving Baby Israel a haircut, proving herself astonishingly inept. Wow, am I a bad barber. Slanted bangs and all. The child was just not a big fan of Mommy the Scissors Snippy Snippy My Neck Is Itchy and I'm Going to Bellow For All I'm Worth.
Oh my. And this is why he is holding TIGHTLY to his Holy Bible. Or perhaps it just gives him better leverage to get to that handy little pressy clicky heater button...

Crushed Beetle Juice

So I have had a splinter in my foot for several months now, that has recently really started hurting. That's right, I said "several months". The girl at the doctor's office today looked at me like I was a complete dork when I told her that. She also looked at me like I was a complete dork when I politely refused a preliminary X-ray unless absolutely needed due to the fact that our current insurance has a deductible of like, 4 skillion dollars, and then huffed out of the room with a roll of the eyes. Well, then.

The doctor came in, scratched away at my foot for a bit, then put a drop of crushed beetle juice on it to flush the splinter out in a blister. She also added hair of gnat, 4 drops of cow urine, and a dash of powdered lice, clapped her hands three times, and raced around my chair in an Indian head-dress. A very interesting experience in all. (Kidding about all but the Juice of Beetle.)

I'm supposed to go back in 2 weeks for her to remove the dad-gum thing. How weird is this treatment? I'm very intrigued.

While I was gone, Gabriel managed to dump all of the flour into the sugar, and mix it with a large amount of Crisco. As of two minutes ago, he dumped the entire bag of Rice Chex on the floor so as to load it by hand into his dump truck, and is licking the remains off the carpet.

Well, then.

This is Gimpy, over and out.

My Yon Right Goodly Husband

So let me tell you about my yon right goodly husband.

The other night, after overwhelmed tears, he hustled the sweetie boys out to the living room to "leave mom alone" and let her do some well-needed blogging..

Then yesterday while I was working, he cleaned the house, so that I didn't feel so oppressed with all the work I needed to do when I got home and had the blessing of a clean kitchen. I sure do love a clean kitchen.

And today, after lunch while Israel was snoozing, he let me scuttle like a big scuttley bug in my fuzzy sweatpants and purple sweatshirt to my cozy bed where I curled up with my library book, my 2 Lindt chocolates (thanks Lynette), and my glass of ice tea. Where I laid in the sunshine, watching the trees blow their red autumn leaves outside my window, and where I drifted into peaceful, uninterrupted, glorious midday slumber, as previously longed for, and from whence I feel blissfully refreshed.

Happy sigh.

He's a yon right good goodly husband.

photo courtesy of Lynette Polinder

Overheard

Heard in our house tonight:

Gabe: "What's that?"

Tim: "That's a deer that poops out candies. Now come on, let's go, and leave Mom alone."

That's a deer that poops out candies. Oh yes, my friends, you heard right.

While I was fixing lunch today, Gabe came out to the kitchen pantless and chirped, "I pooped in the potty!" Which, hallelujah, he had. This is a day for monumental events. #1 in the potty - why not? #2 in the potty? I don't think so. This indeed deserved a prize, as he had collected plenty enough "pee stickers" for a prize as well. (Life with children apparently breaks down into odder moments of celebration than you might imagine.)

Today I was running important errands like dropping the mortgage check off at the bank, getting Gabe's 3 year old pictures taken, and buying meaningless drivel at Claire's in the mall, where Gabe laid eyes on a toy reindeer that he decided he would like for his "potty present". On the way home I realized that it was a "special" reindeer that has "candy movements".

Classy. Yet fitting.

Day Dreams

Tonight is one of those nights when I wish I could just be ALONE.

These days, my daydreams are pretty simple. Time by myself, in a quiet house, laying in the sun, watching the wind blow the trees outside my window, and drooling chocolate on my book as I drift off into glorious, peaceful, uninterrupted midday slumber. This friends, is my "priceless. And for everything else, there's Mastercard" of late.

Sigh.

Of course I love my boys to pieces. That's a given. Of course I would endure a million years without breaks in order to have them around. It's just that no one can deny the luxury of that mythical dream called a "break". 'Cause that's all it feels like of late. A mythical dream.

Now, I am not asking for sympathy here. I'm just enjoying a good whine. If I really really wanted to, I suppose I could rouse up the motivation to go in determined search of a babysitter. Honestly? Last time we had a babysitter? Mmmmm. Not real sure. Oh yes. Our anniversary in June. My babysitter issues involve the following:

1. Don't know anyone in that tender, would-love-babysitting-money age range that can actually drive, or that isn't hugely busy with social life.
2. Don't really like to swap babysitting, because I hate babysitting.
3. Feel guilty if I don't pay someone my own age who babysits a "real" wage. Which I don't really feel like I can hardly afford.

Sigh. This, my friends, is yet another reason to live close to family that you can take full, unfettered advantage of. Heh heh. Not that I would know anything about that pipe dream.

So I suppose I will just have to live vicariously through my daydreams of an house that is empty for a few hours because Tim took both boys to Walmart to do my shopping and browse in the toy section for a few hours....or to the park in a random 75 degree day-in-late-November-that-could-happen-you-never-know....or nights out on the town where I get to eat a leisurely supper out at a real restaurant with my husband, watch a movie, and saunter my way slowly home.

Instead, I shall type furiously on my computer, oh, wait - peck one fingered on my computer while holding a young child DETERMINED to conquer the keyboard whilst the elder one wails in the distance - Mommymommymommymommymommy. His daddy may deal with that one tonight. I'm sipping hot chocolate and watching Grey's Anatomy Season 3. By the whirring heater. In my comfy PJ's. And sleeping in until 11:30 and dressing slowly and driving to Denny's for a breakfast and then coming back to read a little, do no housework whatsoever, cook no meals, and have a nice long afternoon nap. At which point I will be thrilled to welcome my babies back with open arms and lots of hugs and kisses and tummy gittin's.

Or I just won't do any of of the former, say I did, and just go straight to the latter.

Off to git some tummies...

Three

I stretch out
per request
Weary day mostly behind me
Shoes still on
head on pillow
The Caped Avenger hurls himself through the air
Rushing to fill the empty space on top of my chest
Legs gripping my ribcage
Arms fiercely clutching my neck
blanket cape swirled in on top of us
satin cheek pressed firmly to my face
squeezing me in as close as he can
snuffling into my neck
In these days where one cannot get quite enough of Mommy
right now his all his greedy hug
breath whooshing past my eardrum
from all the vigorous mommy attacking
I grin into the darkness
pat the blanketed back
Child of mine struggling to find a comfy place to lay his head on mommy’s bony collarbone
Where is a well padded chest when I need one?
Cuddly minutes pass
Squirming quiets
Child lists to the side
Breathing relaxed
Eyes blink. pause. blink.
slow blink.
yawn.
blond eyelashes resting on downy cheek
warm hand touching mine uncurls
sleep.
sweet sleep.
I ease out from beneath the gentle weight of child limbs
baby arm falling gently to the side
and gaze at his slumbering
press an involuntary kiss to soft cheek
relaxed face, gentle breath
inhaling his innocence...
Three.

Misc.

1. Tonight for a snack, Gabriel wanted a jelly and cheese sandwich, with one slice of bread toasted, and the other not, and the cheese melted. So that's what he got. Then Tim decided that looked really good, so he made himself his own jelly and cheese sandwich. I just stood by the counter with a disconcerted expression on my face, shaking my head. What strange boys I have in my household.

2. Today for lunch we had chocolate chip pancakes. Mmmm. :)

3. Yesterday Gabriel got to fingerpaint and make playdough. I got Mommy points in heaven for all that. :) 4. There was a little critter hiding out in our kitchen tonight, in the space between the wall and the refrigerator. Tim managed to catch him the other day and got him in a bucket, but he must have gotten out. :)

5. Gabe has rediscovered the joys of markers and was busily scribbling away at his little table the past few days. He is really in a new developmental phase now, because his favorite part about such activities in the past was leaving the lids off of the markers and wandering away. Now he colors for quite a while, and generally carefully replaces the lids.
6. And just so he'll know we love him too and doesn't feel left out:
This little punkin' has been giving his mammy and pappy new gray hairs of late. The other night he was chirpily awake from 12:45 AM to 1:30 AM. Haggard look. Then the next night it was from about 10 PM to about 12:30 AM. Bleary eyes. Last night it was 11:30 PM-12:30 AM. Smack head against wall. I think we "reoriented" him time-wise tonight. One can only hope. He had just had a few mixed up nap times. Horridness. Something about having to give up the few minutes in the day you call your own makes one really squinty-eyed and grouchy.

Growing Boys

Gabriel asleep on the couch. What a cutie. He looks so little there, but the other night when we took a Mommy-n-Me trip to Walmart, I glanced back at him in the carseat and did a double take over the fact that I have a child that is as big as he is. Wow.
Here was Gabe the other night "doin' it MY-self". :) He loves icecream.
Today I let Israel drink from a cup. He seemed fascinated that there was water to be had in there.
Tonight Tim found him out in the kitchen drinking by himself. He finds it alternately satisfying, and drinks greedily and then spills the water all over himself, which becomes hugely frustrating, and makes him very cranky. Hence:
Crabby child sitting in a puddle of water, gripping his cup and screeching.
After that activity, he went to the dining room and stood up in the middle of the floor all by his lil' old selfy. He looked rather surprised and delighted with himself.
And after all that growing work, it was time for bed. Here is Strange Looking Mommy holding her little tiny baby. I will draw your attention away from the strange expression on my face to the wings that fuzz out from the sides of my head. All the hair that fell out after Israel was born is now growing back in, leaving me looking like Dagwood the comic guy at times.
I like to walk around and bleat from time to time, since I have a lamb head. Add a crazed expression to my face, and I look sort of Einstein-y. Now I will take my curly headed self off and read a story to mine eldest.

Baaaaa.

Happy Birthday Baby Israel!!!

One year ago today:
Israel Caleb Miller, born October 15, 2006.
One year later.

We celebrated Baby Israel's birthday by Mommy having a nice sleep-in and then a happily productive day of cleaning the house and going to Walmart with the fam. :) Then we stopped at McDonald's for a birthday supper and played in the playground. We're going to have a proper party probably this weekend, what with hats and cake (consider yourselves invited), but today was the low key celebration.
Daddy and Israel chortling away.
Gabe enjoying playground time. It was such a beautiful fall day.
Mmmmmm good.
Little punkin'.

I can't believe Israel is one year old already!!! He:

• has 8 teeth
• is cruising, and letting go of items to stand in place
• can push his little walk toys

• mimics sounds
• loves to point
• eats like a champ :)
• sleeps from about 8 PM to 8 AM
• takes usually one 2 1/2 hour morning nap and sometimes a 45 minute evening nap, but often skips that last nap
• is not breastfeeding anymore
• crawls with great gusto
• pulls up everywhere
• loves Mommy's cellphone

• loves to wrestle with big brother Gabe
  

A Week in Pictures

Tim logging miles down the highway.
Celebrating Gabriel's birthday at Granddaddy and Grandma's house.
Splashes in the sink. Israel was crank crank cranking one day, so I decided to plop him into a midday sink bath and he thought that was a great idea!
Sweetie pie at the screen door.
Granddaddy reading a nighty-night story to Gabe.
Grandma helping Gabe try out his nifty new birthday scooter.
Uncle Quentin spends some time with the nephew. Israel kept looking at Quentin big-eyed and observantly. He hadn't run into many uncles like him. :)
Taking a double take.
Gabe fries himself an egg. (with secret assistance)
Enjoying a fall day.
Celebrating Israel's first birthday at Grandma and Granddaddy's house.
Some be-hatted golf cart buddies.

Weary

I'm beginning to feel that life consists of one crowded-minivan-screeching-squirming-one-year-old-intolerably-lengthed trip after the other. We traveled at the beginning of September, again at the beginning of October, and have yet another trip planned at the beginning of November. I'm not sure I can bear it. It is so wearing. Long, suffering-filled, poor-me sigh. Israel is just the WORST at traveling!!! He hates the restraint of his carseat, and I just don't blame him, but there's not much I can do about it. He is facing forward and I have him sitting as upright as I can, but he is basically the most unhappy camper you could find. Besides me. May have a nervous breakdown after the next one. Seriously wondered if I could be having a mental breakdown with this one, as I hung halfway over the front seat to comb my fingers through Israel's hair while holding a bottle in a futile attempt to restore peace and quiet to my ears. Sigh again. It didn't help anything that he was teething. I am not normally crabby, but I am Crabbiest Woman Ever immediately after returning home from these ventures, simply because I have been on kid duty for 7 1/2 hours straight in cramped quarters. I don't think I will ever take for granted the simple joy of not having to travel with a one year old after all of my children have moved through that stage and are into the glued-to-DVD phase that Gabe happily settles into. Can you tell this is traumatic for me? Goodness.

Israel has started taking some steps while holding onto things - cruising. He loves to point, and to mimic sounds. I cannot bring myself to cut his curls, and am not sure how I will ever get to that point. It twill be a sad, sad day, indeed for the mommy. :) He is just the cutest little curly head. I'd post a picture if I weren't so lazy. Maybe tomorrow. I'm sort of sad he soon won't be crawling.

He also loves to "drive" things. He drives (as in, pushes on the floor) toy cars, toy guitars, Gabriel's scooter, random toys, and my big Kirby vacuum. I was duly impressed by that last one.

Off to emotionally prepare for work tomorrow...can you tell I'm having a hard time of it today? Come visit me! 'Cause I ain't coming to visit you!! (here Carrie exits stage left, plucking the air, eyes darting back and forth, and muttering vague things about links between her dryer and the latest outbreak of avian flu...Somebody get this girl a charter jet.)

Growing, Growing , Growing

*Israel was standing today when I set him down on the floor. He stood by himself just a little bit, and then lowered himself on down. This baby stage seems to have gone so much faster this second time around. I thought he was just born about 5 months ago!! Weird.

*Mommy's favorite Gabe quote of late: "Mommy, I just can't ba-NEAVE it!!!" (can't believe it) accompanied with appropriate hand gestures and facial expressions. Another favorite is: "Let me sink." (Let me think.), which is followed by all sorts of finger to the mouth, eyes raised in deep, concerted thought, swaying back and forth.

*Tonight after we came back from "checking on" our neighbors, Gabriel was distraught and tearfully asked to be taken back because he had forgotten to give Bud a "nighty-night" hug. :) Tim took him back over, and Bud was thrilled to comply.

*Tonight Gabe was talking to Grandma Carol on the computer over the web cam, and she told him an attention getting story about how they were going to knock the neighbor's house down and there were going to be dump trucks there. He came out to the kitchen wide eyed and full of stories about the neighbor's house and the dump trucks that were going to be there. :) He also had to go get his beloved cars (thank you, Aunt Lynette!) to show Grandma.

Busy Bee

Wow. Today I had one of those Rev-It-Up-I'm-Gittin'-It-DONE-ALREADY days. I got all sorts of things done. I:
1. Finished sorting through stuff in the bathroom closet to make it more organized for home-browsers
2. Packed 2 boxes of books, 2 boxes of magazines, 1 box of photo albums, 2 boxes of papers, and one box of misc. to go into the attic.
3. Windex-ed in the kitchen
4. Did two sink loads of dishes
5. Put away one sink load.
6. Put away a dishwasher load of dishes, reloaded, and washed a second load
7. Picked up every single room of the house, including some of the basement
8. Went to McDonald's for lunch. But I made my own ice tea. Gulped down Big-and-Tasty and a few tasty frites.
9. Made supper, consisting of Sloppy Joes, cabbage-celery-and-apple-salad, brussel sprouts, and ice tea. Mmmm.
10. Dusted living room.
11. Moved photo albums from the living room to make room for kids books.
12. Finished sorting through filing cabinet and packing irrelevant filed items into boxes for the attic.
13. Filed all random papers in the office.
14. Tended to the boys.
15. Read to Gabe.
16. Went on a walk.
17. Did several loads of laundry
18. Put away one load of laundry.
19. Emptied bookshelf behind office door and moved it downstairs, so office will look bigger to said home-browsers.
20. Realized I lost Tim's sermon notes for next weekend.
21. Lugged my big ol' trashbag back inside and went through every single item twice, first quickly and the second time more carefully. Couldn't find them.
22. Searched through 6-inch pile of school papers in the attic twice. Still couldn't find them.
23. Remembered, after seeing a paper upstairs, that I had filed some papers. Came downstairs and searched file cabinet. Found 'em. Hah. Heh heh heh. My husband should know I love him after all that. He had told me not to worry about it, but I felt bad for losing it.
24. Typed this list twice because Blogger lost it for me the first time >:(
25. Patted myself quite contentedly on the back for all the work I got done. I love it when I have such a satisfactorily productive day. Happy sigh.

Sassy

You know that I must be turning into a fairly horrible person when I am narrowing my eyes, grinding my teeth, and shaking my bony little fist at my dog when she is asking for the following:
1. Water
2. Food
3. To go outside to pee

Wow. What a jerk am I. It’s just that the day is so busy and about the time I finally have the luxury of sinking into a chair, to pound away on the computer or bury my nose in a good book, that needy Snooch ruffs her commanding little bossy “RUFF!!” in the bathroom doorway, RIGHT outside the room where the baby slumbers quietly. At that point, all the ire within me that remains from the day’s frustrations wells up and gives her a whispered retort full of lots of flying spittle and gnashing of teeth. Would everyone just quit needing things and leave me alone already!!!!!!!

The problem is that the baby LOVES to get Chloe’s food and water, so it is often lifted up out of both of their reaches, so she has every right to inject some sass into her tone…but it still makes me want to send her packing. Sometimes I’m pretty sure I don’t have enough emotional energy left over for the Dog-Formerly-Known-As-Beloved. I still like her (sometimes), but sometimes she just feels like she’s more work than she’s is worth. Sigh. Poor Snooch. One day, Snoochie. One day when the babies are older and so are you, you’ll probably resume your happy little life as the gruffing head of the household. Until then…

The Big Ouch

So in recent days I have had a renewed fascination with the concept of natural childbirth. I have no childbirth impending in the next 9 or 10 months, be comforted. I'm just fascinated and intensely curious and intrigued with such an idea. Pretty sure my Mom would tell me I'm in Looney Tune Land. Tim says that it makes as much sense to him as signing up to eat 150 hotdogs "just to see if you could do it". But I wonder so intensely - could I?

There's lots of people all over the world making it through. So could I. I have this intuitive gut feeling that tells me I would come out the other side "empowered" and newly confident. I have this belief that if I could see myself weather the pain of childbirth I would have a new understanding of a strength I hadn't previously realized I possessed. I would be able to say "I am woman, hear me roar." :) To me, it fits more along the parallel of running a marathon. Why subject your body to all of that? To see if you can do it. For the triumph of completion.

Quite likely a lot of idealism and naive romanticism mixed in here...but I have always had this idea in the back of my brain that for one of my pregnancies, I am going to go the route of Genesis 3:16, and experience one of the most visceral experiences of humanity - just to see myself make it through. And I'm going to have a faint, whispering disappointment in myself if I just don't give it a real go. Am I crazy? Am I not? Could such an experience be worth it just for theoretical, unmeasurable gain?

Just pondering...

Today

Cutie-pie in the strollerGabe working intently with the garden hose.My stroller-pushing view. :) He kept craning back to look at me and smiling delightedly.

Gabe spent a long time today driving his tractor around.
Busy boy in the pans. I was sort of surprised at his level of dexterity. He put the pans in and took them out and repeat.
This was the boys the other day in the crib romping around as Mommy issued "Be careful...GABE!!! I SAID BE CAREFUL!!!!"'s. Both boys were having a grand ol' time as I eyed them warily. Those two...
Smudgy son. Son loves the piano. He can pull right up on it.

Nice fall day today. Youse guys in far away lands are missing the fall, so I'm reveling in it for you. Blue blue skies, bright yellowed slanty sunlight, hint of chill in the air...I love it.